Sunday, April 22, 2007

NCCCC: Best Of Show

Like the hockey play-offs, the National Coolest Comics Character Contest has dragged on much longer than it has a right to, to the point that anyone other than true fans doesn’t realize it is still going on. I am calling the polls closed. Votes cast after 9 am on April 21, 2007 are not included these tallies.

Let’s have a look at the winners in each category.

Most Realistic Teenager

Jeremy Duncan
Jeremy Zits was by far and away the clear winner in the biggest runaway on any group. The closest contender, Baldo, barely got 10% of the votes. April Patterson got several write-in votes. Pattersons would be write-in contenders in nearly every category if I let them. I decided early on that the Foobs were too polarizing to contend with mere mortals. Other write-ins included Cookie from Blondie and Pre-Teena’s older sister. For the most part, these were way too minor characters to be significant factors.

Most Precocious Kid

One Big Happy
Ruthie from One Big Happy just edged out Danae from Non Sequitor. Here the race seemed to come down to whether you liked you wise-cracking kids innocent but demented or cynical and worldly. The rest of the field pretty much split the rest of the vote. Like I mentioned in the original post, this could have been Jason Fox’s race to lose. Even long dead Calvin got several write-in mentioned. Of current strips, Caulfield, the smart-assed sidekick of Frazz, got a lot of mentions. Caulfield, while clever is really just a straight man for the Frazz set-up. And do we really want to delve to deeply into the relationship between a second grader and the school janitor.

Hottest CILF- Funny Division

Edda Berber
9 Chickweed Lane
Edda Berber won this category pretty handily, trouncing old school stalwart Blondie. The victory was most surprising considering how few dead tree newspapers carry 9 Chickweed Lane. Clearly a paradigm shift is in the works here as an internet fan base can trounce the power of 75 years of history in the traditional medium. Other C-MILFs that got write-in votes were Lois from Hi and Lois and Abby from Edge City, both worthy contenders. DemetriosX got in the best zinger when he disputed the inclusion of Cathy, not on attractiveness grounds, but on whether it belongs in the Funny Division.

Hottest CILF – Soap Division

June Morgan
Rex Morgan, MD
June Morgan was the winner in the most hotly contested race of the entire competition. Margo was the front runner until Pope Josh lobbied me to add some hotter pics of the competition. Abbey Spenser led briefly, but finally fell to the power of The Rack. There were also several worthy write-ins including hot-tubbing Diana Walker from The Phantom and SpideySpouse MJ Parker. It also seems a pervy few of you are in need of a Neddy-Spenser-becomes-legal count-down clock.

Best Evil Anthropomorphic Animal

Bucky The Katt
Get Fuzzy
Bucky Katt barely edged out Rat in another two-character race. These two work the evil in different ways, but it seems Bucky’s brand of crazy is slightly more popular. Catbert was the only notable write-in. It seems Zoogie should slink off to wherever he came from since he only managed to cadge one vote.

Most Ambiguously Gay Duo

Dennis and Joey
Dennis The Menace
I expected this category to be closer than it was, but it seems I made the write-up for Dennis and Joey a little too convincing. They beat Beetle and Sarge by nearly 2 to 1. A write-in candidate that may have given them a run for the money would have been Sam Driver and Randy Parker from Judge Parker. Heck, even their names are gay. No subtlety about who does what in that relationship. If you like your comics with homoerotic subtext, make sure to check out the Qomics for Queers website. He explicate Dennis the Fabulous at great length here.

Now it is time for the Best in Show balloting. It is hard to compare apples to oranges or Bernese Mountain Dogs to Dachshunds, but if the Westminster Kennel Club can do it, we can too. Vote for your favorite of any of these characters. Use any criteria you think is relevant, but feel free to explain your vote in the comments.

Votes take a while to post, so come back often to check on your favorite.


Anonymous said...

Given the events of the last couple of weeks, I had wondered if we would wrap this up with a best of show or not. Glad to see this.

This is a real toughie. I have 3 contenders: Jeremy, Edda, and Bucky. I’ll take the obvious (for me) washouts first.

Ruthie: I know she seems to have a lot of fans out there, but she drives me completely up the wall. I actually don’t read OBH just because of her. Also, let’s look at yello’s breed standards: “The kid should be more sophisticated and worldly than real children. A strong familiarity with current events or pop culture is necessary. There should be a mild dark streak, but an underlying sympathy.” Ruthie is not sophisticated and worldly; she is, in fact, a moron. She makes Dolly look bright. She demonstrates no knowledge or understanding of current events or pop culture. This is the ugly Chihuahua that somehow managed to win its division, but has no chance outside of its class.

Dennis & Joey: Like Mooselet, the age thing really bothers me here. They’re also zombies, and I have subtracted big points for all zombies throughout this competition.

June: June actually comes close to being a contender, but something about her just doesn’t do it for me. Maybe it’s her dominatrix vibe or her general cluelessness. Which is not to say that I wouldn’t be more than happy to clean out her garage. But she falls a bit short of best of show.

That leaves the contenders. Jeremy won his division in a slouch-off. That alone would seem to make him the front-runner. He is certainly realistic, as any parent of a teen can tell you. Who doesn’t see their kid(s) reflected in Zits at least a couple of times a week.

Bucky is frequently the highlight of my comics day. He’s weird and nasty and kinda cute. I do think he has lost a couple of steps lately. Nothing like back when the ferret caused him to lose his tooth and he wound up on Judge Judy. Maybe if Rob got a girlfriend, Bucky could slide back into his groovitude. (Hey, there’s another MAGD: Rob and Joe.)

Edda. What can I say but hubba-hubba. I think, in the end, I’m going to have to go for Edda. My brain can’t make the decision, so I’ll let the rest of me choose.

Mooselet said...

What demetriosox said.

Except for the end bits. My vote goes to Jeremy. As the mother of a teen who frequently turns my hair strand by strand to grey, Jeremy is so spot on. Because he's a comics character, however, I can laugh instead of bang my head against a wall when it happens to me.

I love Bucky, but sometimes I just don't get it. And Edda... I just don't bat that way, I'm afraid.

Cedar said...

I'm a little disappointed that Edda is included. I understand why she won her category, but she's not evening the most interesting character in her own strip.

I went for Ruthie. I like that, for the most part, she's portrayed as totally irritating to the adults in her life. Unlike other cutesy kids who gets a free pass from obnoxious one-liners and behavior, you often see Ruthie's mom and grandpa rolling their eyes .

Anonymous said...

Brenda Starr. She's hot, she's funny, she doesn't take herself too seriously, and the social satire is frequently good but not strident. One of the all-time greats and she still got game.

If I had to pick one from the list it would be Jeremy Duncan. He's not a hall-of-famer yet, but he's on the way.

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Oh yeah! REx Morgan had to be the CILF!!! I think I even had wet dreams with her when I was a teenager! Very nice post by the way man, it was very entertaining.

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