My family just returned from our semi-annual Broadway Show Blowout. I may review the shows we saw a little later on, but the true highlight of the trip was a visit to the Charmin Restrooms. For the holiday season, Charmin has converted an abandoned Times Square videogame emporium into the world’s most luxurious public restrooms.
You stand in line to go up a long escalator to the second level where they have installed about twenty temporary restrooms. The waiting area has couches and a video map of where all the visitors have come from. Each room is cleaned after each use and has unlimited Charmin Ultra toilet paper available.
But the real attraction is the multimedia spectacular. It's almost Disneyesque in the level of entertainment experience. The place is staffed with dozens of fresh-scrubbed assistants that give everybody a round of applause when a stall is available. They also hand out samples, dress as the Charmin bear, and lead dances to the jingle.
The jingle is a video of people dancing to the catchy butt-shaking tune of their commercial, but the words have been changed. The lyrics aren’t on the official Charmin website, so I transcribed some of them here. I need a more complete set if anybody else knows them.
A little wiggle to the left
A little wiggle to the right
It’s sheer delight
You’re the softness that I seek
When we’re dancing cheek to cheek
A little sa-sa-sachet
A little bump and grind
I hope you don’t mind
That’s how I express
Your special tenderness
Parts of it can be heard on this YouTube video I found. There is also a longer video that tours the whole set-up. Even Times Square’s infamous Naked Cowboy is in on the act.
Like any tune-cootie, it’s simple and insidious. The whole set-up is done tongue in cheek and never has doing your business been so much fun.
Blatant Comment Whoring™: Tasteless or good clean fun?