Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Links Not Safe For Anywhere


Rob Balder is a song parodist that works the geek circuit. I saw him last year at Balticon (the graduation festivities prevented me from letting my nerd flag fly this year) with several other members of the Funny Music Project. The FuMP aspires to incubate the next Weird Al and releases two songs a week on their website and as a podcast.

I subscribe through iTunes and find maybe one in five songs funny, but since it doesn't cost anything to listen, no harm, no foul. One song called "JFGI" (and I did have to Google the title) was a random list of phrases monotoned Alan Ginsberg style. I went to the website and got this explanation:
All of the phrases in this song were entered into a search engine at least once, causing someone to click through to TheFuMP.com or SuddenDeath.org.
We all get very strange search engine links. I know that Flasshe puts one in many of his posts. I'm still skeeved out that I get weekly hits for "Jordan Todosey naked", but if you mention the thirteen-year-old actress in the same post as The Naked Brothers Band, it's bound to happen.







Since the song's lyrics were all Google searches I decided to see where they went. I've gone and done the "I'm Feeling Lucky" search for each phrase. A few just led back to the song, so I went on to the next ranked site. While I did this with SafeSearch off, only one link led to a genuine porn site. And its probably not the one you would expect. Several led to YouTube clips, so I marked those as such, just in case you don't want the distraction. A few lead to either the official site or MySpace page of a band and could play music randomly. You've been warned.

See if you are as curious as I was. A disturbingly large number of links lead to medical sites. I don't know if that reflects on the typical Google search or the subject matter of FuMP songs.
JFGI

fat chicks in spandex
meredith baxter birney my breast
praying to the porcelain god
see peoples guts and boobs
eat all the old people song
what is meant by halitosis
funny rapers (Video, and the funniest of the lot)
wonder woman topless
resthome for hoes
do the pee wee herman
pictures of maggots in a cat
psycho slut from hell
the pill mood swing cures
skinny dipping woman with boobs showing
i got a hangnail hangin from my cuticle
pissin blood in urine
paddle my bum free download
death worm
the most wonderful kind of brassiere
public enemy lyrics stomp a mud hole in your ass
boobs tits melons cans racks
melvin and the chipmunks
taliban on ice
rubber master
brobdingnagian blender
duh duh diarrhea
lederhosen teenager
clips showing little boys being potty trained and going pee

I spy
An infinite supply of passers-by.
They misidentify but come to verify
And clarify.
I'm terrified and horrified,
Yet purified, they glorify
The Ubermind, the great Third Eye.
You want to find
Who, what or why?
JFGI.

im in yur cat
infected hangnail
chester cheese woods
lex luthor raper
lolcats addiction
cause for blown up stomach
buffet design
dr. demento and gonorrhea
chuck norris is a sissy
chicken explosion blood baby monsters
pimple on back that turned black
take maxi pads trash
babaganoosh is in the house
which reo speedwagon song is used in horton hears a who
star trek boxer shorts
galaga ship
aquadots
police nabbed my dad (Video)
sears funny clerk lingerie dept
yuppie bathrooms
dead brain
what is degenerated cell
soviet duck
blood covered boobs
hermione strips
world robot
godzilla sample
snorks theme song
woman knee in the balls
the meaning of miserable
peekin in someones bathroom
fake inflatable breasts (Video)
mild attack of dyslexia
zombie death horde
albino claw footed frog
inflatable love
codeine
superfriends porn
breasts like basketballs
a moose once bit my sister
stupid and loud
hobbit potato (Video)
girls in bikinis getting wedgies
how i got the clap
gallbladder palpitations
how people look like when burned
lettuce worms
piss into his face
be nice to new jersey

don't shoot rob balder (Video)
The last line is a parody of "Don't Talk" as performed by Rob Balder and other members of the FuMP crew.

BlatantCommentWhoring™: Which of these disturbed you the most? Which one did you have to check out?

1 comment:

Jay said...

The most disturbing - 'blood covered boobs'! Yikes! The one I want to click on, over and over and over - codeine. I woke with a KILLER neck and shoulder spasm this morning. Killer. I can't take anti-infammatories, so I've swallowed some codeine. Codeine is good. I doubt that link would tell me anything I didn't know, but I am drawn to it anyway. LOL!

I'm disturbed that I keep on getting hits for 'John Travolta wallpaper'. I mentioned him once.