Friday, November 07, 2008
Uggh at Uga
For about two weeks now I have been grimacing (pun intended) every day at the comics. Mother Goose and Grimm has been running into the ground a gag about Grimmy being the understudy mascot for the University (sic) of Georgia’s inbred nuts-licking abomination of a mascot, Uga. Uga is the name of all of UGA’s (Uga – U-G-A, get it? Good, excuse me while I vomit) bulldogs. I think they are up to Uga VII, each one uglier thant the last. Somewhere deep in the bowels of the UGA veterinary science building is a breeding lab where only the drooliest, wrinkliest, and least intelligent puppies are allowed to breed. The ones that don’t make the cut are sold off to Yale, Georgetown, Mississippi State, and Gardner Webb as second-rate imitations.
Finally, Mother Goose and Grimm's nauseating sequence of lame fire hydrant jokes has paid off with a gag about the true role of a bulldog, a victim of yellow jacket venom. I end with a few bulldog jokes from various locations on the internet (including here):
How do you get a Georgia graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
Q: How many University of Georgia freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at University of Georgia weddings?
A: To keep the flies off the bride.
Two University of Georgia fans were at the UGA-Tech game when Uga walked out to the middle of the field and started licking himself as dogs are wont to do.
The first Georgia fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."
The second Georgia fan replies, "You better not, that dog would bite you."
What do you get when you breed a pig with a bulldog?
Nothing. There are some things a pig just won’t do.
The comic strip is woefully off schedule; Tech doesn't play UGA until November 29, but it's never to soon to start hating early.
BlatantCommentWhoring™:Go ahead. Tell a Georgia joke. Or one for the rival of your choice.