Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Celebrity Closet Watch Online


Gawker discovered this site that asks silly questions including nearly 80 about which celebrities are gay. As Gawker discovered, the general public are idiots. Case in point: If Mario Lopez is really gay, he's a far better actor than his stint on Saved By The Bell would indicate.

(click here for better version)

Closet watching is a time-honored avocation here at Foma* Central but clearly a few people taking this poll are behind the curve or have let their People magazine subscription lapse. Several of the celebs on this list are either out-out or so lightly closeted that they might as well hang their clothes in Times Square. A few other results are so inexplicably off that I can only assume there is a huge wishful thinking contingent of gay folk out there stuffing the ballot box, so to speak.

When people can spend months even debating Adam Lambert while Zachery Quinto gets a collective shoulder shrug in the zeitgeist, the whole concept of being closeted has been subverted. Most gay celebrities have found ways to tip-toe around their personal life without any outright deceit. In my mind, the only people that can even justify trying to cover up their orientation nowadays are Republican governors and the costars of Sandra Bullock romantic comedies. These are the only two groups whose livelihoods are threatened by an inadvertent outing. And in either case, they would kinda deserve it.

Still, in the world of gossip, it's a fun game as long as there's no malice involved. But at least it's cute to see Anderson Cooper and Jodie Foster still so close together. Which proves the power of open closet plausible deniability.

BlatantCommentWhoring™: What is the most surprising position on this list?

9 comments:

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Why then isn't Adam Lambert off the gaydar so to speak?

125records said...

Most surprising? Kevin Spacey. I mean, isn't he out by now? Maybe the fact that he's relatively low on the list means the people who voted don't know who he is. And I don't care if Zachary Quinto is gay or not -- he's adorable!

Cedar said...

Zachary Quinto is cute as hell; his sexuality never really crossed my mind until I read an interview with his Heroes co-star Kristen Bell (who is also cute as hell) where she said something like, "He's such a great friend. I've known him for years and I just adore him," and I was like, "Roger that, code-talker. I read you loud and clear."

Cedar said...

And most surprising entry on this list is Jessica Biel. Granted, she's pretty low on the list, but I hadn't even realized there was WAS any question about her sexuality. Is it because she has broad shoulders?

Mac said...

The presence of Jason Mraz, at all. Who cares?

A Free Man said...

I don't know who Mario Lopez is, but Ricky Martin seems a no brainer. And isn't Jodie Foster out? How do you explain the 25% that are in denial?

VE said...

Uh oh...your blog has been officially spoofed today. I'm so sorry...

Flasshe said...

All three of the Jonas Brothers? Sounds statistically implausible to me.

td said...

Chris O'Donnell is the most surprising, for sure. He's been married for many years has five children. I'm not seeing it.

Val Kilmer? No way. Have you seen him lately? No self-respecting gay man would let himself go that much.

I just like the idea that Zac Efron is quantifiably "more" gay than Kevin Spacey but not "as" gay as John Travolta.