Friday, March 31, 2006

NCCC Just Not Funny Division Championship


The NCCC™ Division Championship round of the Just Not Funny Division pits the two first round winning heavyweights Cathy and BC against each other. Cathy was a ground breaking strip that it for the first time showed an independent single career oriented woman that obsessed over food, followed every ridiculous fashion fad, and pined for guys Just-Not-That-Into-Her. Big step forward there. Still, the author, Cathy Guisewaite was a pioneer that broke ground for a new generation of female comic writers like ,uh, just a moment here…., yeah those Six Chix. Can you smell token here? I can see the meeting at the Syndicate: “But, don’t we already have a strip about a woman written by a woman?” How about a FUNNY one, guys?

Normally a guy like Johnny Hart that can annoy both the Anti-Defamation League and Islamic groups would be hailed as “biting” and “edgy”. Instead he is more like the old senile relative that no one pays attention to anymore. Johnny is getting a pass because everybody just apologizes in advance “because that’s the way Johnny is, and everybody knows it.” Well, no, he wasn’t always that way. He used to be FUNNY. The strip wasn’t sold as crypto-religious allegory. It was funny cavemen. Johnny is using his tenured position as his own religious bully pulpit and we get stuck with it. Cathy has always been what she is, but with BC, we got bait-and-switched.
Winner/Loser: BC



Next up: Walker-Browne Division Championship

Or on to the Final Four.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

NCCC Pointless Soap Division Championship


For the Pointless Soap Division Championship of the NCCC™, Mary Worth and Rex Morgan, the first round winners, face off to determine who will advance to the Final Four. This is a division that has struggled lately. Anytime your newspaper has a comics survey, assume that all the serials are on the chopping block and the editors are just checking the pulse of the remaining readers. These strips are an endangered species because, just like dinosaurs, they are slow and lumbering and cannot adapt to a changing environment. Has anyone seen Brenda Starr or Terry and the Pirates around lately? Would anyone miss them?

Rex Morgan is an idealistic young doctor raising a family. He has a wife and child to support and works in a profession that regularly puts him in contact with people a lot worse off than himself. Never mind that he is a hopelessly closeted do-gooder that needs to drop the charade for his long suffering and amazingly hot wife June and their terribly mis-shapen child.

Mary Worth, on the other hand, is a meddling beyotch with nothing better to than interfere in other people’s lives. My retired parents in Florida have a phrase for people like Mary, “Condo Commandos”. Busy-bodies with too much time on their hands that manufacture crises if none exist. Nothing is more ironic than a bunch of incontinent ninety-year olds writing the bylaws to keep toddlers out of the pool. Mary needs to draw her blinds and let others live their lives.
Winner/Loser: Mary Worth


Next up: Just Not Funny Division Championship

Or on to the Final Four.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

NCC Dead Writers Division Championship


Welcome back comics-fans to exciting second round coverage of the National Crappy Comics Competition ™. For those of you joining us late, first round action in the NCCC™ is complete and the results follow. Remember, the “winner” is the strip most worthy of being purged forever from the comics pages.

Dead Writer Division
Dennis the Menace lost to Andy Capp
Peanuts was defeated by Shoe

Pointless Soap Division
Mary Worth trounced Apt 3G
Mark Trail was upset by Rex Morgan

Just Not Funny Divsion
Garfield got edged out by Cathy
BC ran rough-shod over Family Circus

Walker-Browne Division

Beetle Bailey was butchered by Hagar the Horrible.
Hi and Lois passed Raising Duncan in a forfeit.

For our the championship of the the Dead Writer Division, we have Andy Capp facing off against Shoe. Andy Capp is famous around the world as being synonymous with “wife-beating drunk” . But if you ask someone who Rex Smythe is you either get a blank stare or a wild guess like “Elton John’s real name” or “right fielder for the 1918 Cardinals” . Jeff MacNelly on the other hand was a journalistic legend whose legacy is being defiled every day by the big black vultures circling his grave. Let the man rest in peace.
Winner/Loser: Shoe


Next up: The Pointless Soap Division Championship
Or on to the Final Four.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

A Plague of Plagiarists


The big kerfuffle in the blogosphere this week was the debacle at WashingtonPost.com and their rather short-lived conservative Republican blogger. RedAmerica, as they named the blog (after rejecting RedDawn as being too obviously pro-gun), was written by a young well-connected blogger named Ben Domenech. I really don’t follow political blogs very much because the signal-to-noise ratio is just horrendous, so I was unfamiliar with RedState, where Domenech, who seems to like the color red, wrote under the pseudonym Augustine (a gimmick he probably lifted from Enders Game).

Well young Ben came out guns ablazing. In his first post he tiraded against the “shrieking denizens” of the left, who immediately took umbrage and started turning over rocks looking for something to throw at him. Ben immediately apologized for calling Coretta Scott King a “communist” while the rest of the country including our president was eulogizing her.

Then the charges of plagiarism came out. And they stuck. Liberal sites like DailyKos and Atrios began cataloging suspiciously similar phrases, paragraphs and even entire articles as fast as searches could reveal them. WaPo.com announced an investigation and Domenech resigned. His entire blog lasted less than 100 hours. Joel Achenbach, a real journalist and the WaPo's top blogger basically says good riddance.

I really don’t care about Ben’s politics or the extremely poor judgment on a lot of levels that the Post showed in hiring him. I‘m more interested in the plagiarism aspect which is extremely perplexing. I disagree that plagiarism is the worst offense a journalist can make. Blatant libelous character assassination is the most criminally actionable, but since the burden of proof is so high in the US, Tom Cruise and Roman Polanski and others with a beef with the press run to the more sympathetic British courts. I would even call outright fabrication even worse than plagiarism. As Janet Cook, Stephen Glass, and Jayson Blair have shown, the actions of one person can severely tarnish the reputation of a whole organization and reinforce suspicions about the entire journalism industry.

Plagiarism in the internet age is paradoxical because it is so easy to do yet so easy to detect. My wife found the winning poem in a contest at her school a little better than the student’s previous work would suggest she was capable of. A trial membership at an anti-plagiarism website immediately revealed the poem as copyrighted material. Definitely easier to detect than it was in John Kelly’s day.

Domenech’s “borrowing” was so irrefutable that his ostensible right-wing friends like Michelle Malkin, who he had worked with, had to back away. Rather than ‘fessing up immediately, Ben went to the plagiarist’s stock list of excuses. They include in decreasing plausibility:

Yellojkt's Top Ten Excuses Used by Plagiarists
  1. My notes were poor and I didn’t realize it was a quote and not my own thought.
  2. It was an editing error. The attribution got lost in revision.
  3. I referenced the source once and that should be enough.
  4. That idea is in the public domain and I didn’t get it from the person accusing me.
  5. It was a youthful indiscretion.
  6. I was just using the press release, that’s what it’s there for. (Corollary: I didn’t steal from him, we both stole from that guy.)
  7. I didn’t copy. I changed a bunch of words.
  8. People do it to me, so what’s the big deal?
  9. The source said I could use it and just doesn’t remember now.
  10. Someone else did it and signed my name to it.
© 2006 by yellojkt. All attributions or re-use must include a link to this post. Don't lie, cheat or steal.


Sometimes the reasons make sense. Dan Brown is defending himself for his ideas in The DaVinci Code using a combination of excuses 3 and 4. And I think that line of thought has some validity. Plenty of authors have written about Jesus and Mary Magdalene hooking up. Memory and Google fail me, but I’m pretty sure one of the Dangerous Visions collections from the 60s had just such a story.

Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin has emerged only slightly battered using reason 1 and 2. A slew of pro-Walmart apologists are hiding behind the cover of 6. While Ben didn’t use the whole list, I think he invented items 9 and 10, perhaps the only original thoughts he has ever had. He finally took full blame in a rather defensive non-specific way and is now on his way to being a cause celebre and a martyr.

Accusations of plagiarism can be a career-ending death-blow. Newspaper columnists seem particularly susceptible as high profile cases like Mike Barnicle of the Boston Globe have shown. Something about the high volume of deadline writing and the tendancy to annoy people that may want to get back at you makes for a dangerous combination.

Here in Baltimore, highly respected columnist Michael Olesker resigned from the Baltimore Sun after reports from the local weekly alternative City Paper raised some questions. As David Simon explains, columnists have a tough time because they often have to summarize an issue in the news before opining on it. In Oleskar’s case, his little summaries were too often too similar to previously printed descriptions. The Sun never quite used the “P”-word, but they did say his stuff did not meet their standards for attribution. I think the cases they dug up are pretty slim, but based on the shabby treatment the Sunpapers has given their columnists in the past (see my mourning of Jules Witcover), I think the powers that be decided to err on the side of lower overhead.

In college, I was accused of plagiarism by a professor because she did not think the word “hegemonistic” was within the vocabulary of an engineering student. The word did not appear anywhere in the source and was my own interpretation. I had to meet with her and trot out my Model United Nations geek bona fides to convince her. She gave me and A on the paper, but I still got a B for the course.

What is the take-away lesson for bloggers? Cite and source. A whole page of hot links can look a little Christmas tree like, but it shows you know what you are doing and that you give credit where credit is due. I don’t know where I heard that first, but it seems like good advice.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

NCCC Walker-Browne Division Round 1

Game 1
vs.

The Walker/Browne Division of the National Crappy Comics Competition(NCCC™) is the sleeper bracket in the tourney, represented in the first match by Beetle Bailey and Hagar the Horrible. The Walkers and Brownes have been collectively hogging valuable comic page real estate for decades and have begun the process of handing over their domain to the next generation. I wouldn’t be surprised to find these two clans have intermarried to preserve the dynastic bloodlines. Beetle Bailey continues a proud comic tradition of stereotypically offensive caricatures. Anyone seen Sergeant Yo lately? He must be looking for his Coke-bottle glasses and his fake buckteeth. The strip finds yuks in sexual harassment, alcoholism and institutionalized brutality.

Hagar, drawn since 1988 by creator Dik Browne’s son Chris, finds mild chuckles in sacking British castles, being hen-pecked, avoiding tax collectors, and dealing with incompetent lackeys. The fact that there is nothing to take offense to, is itself offensive. Hagar epitomizes the paint-by-numbers paycheck-cashing ennui that sets in once you have a job-for-life that you inherited from Daddy. Talented comics are starving to get the space that seems to be a birthright. Beetle Bailey inexplicably has a devoted following in the genuinely hard working real military and gets a furlough while Hagar is sent packing so someone with an edge can take his place.
Winner/Loser: Hagar


Game 2
vs.

In the final game of the first round, we have Hi and Lois taking on Raising Duncan. Hi and Lois, created by Mort Walker and Dik Browne and now done by Brian Walker, Greg Walker and Chance Browne, raises the concept of nepotism to new levels. I guess basically if you are Browne or Walker progeny and can hold a pen without drawing blood, you can draw a paycheck. The strip itself is the archetype of bland inoffensive family fare. If it were a meal, it would be mayonnaise on white bread with a cold glass of homogenized milk and tapioca pudding for dessert. Whenever the new generation slips in some mildly risqué innuendo, it draws gasps where it would barely arch an eyebrow in other more cutting edge strips.

Raising Duncan is Chris Browne’s noble attempt to step out from his father’s shadow and create something original. Relying on the write-what-you-know philosophy, Duncan is about a bearded paunchy writer with bad fashion sense who owns a talking Scottish terrier. Sadly, both the pooch and the strip are no longer with us. If a Son Of Hagar can’t make it in the cutthroat comix biz, what hope do mere mortals have? The Flagstons move on by default.
Winner/Loser: Hi and Lois


Previous results:
Dead Writers Division
Pointless Soap Division
Just Not Funny Division

Or move on to the second round of the Walker-Browne Division.

Monday, March 20, 2006

NCCC Just Not Funny Division Round 1


Game 1
vs.

Over in the Just Not Funny Divisionof the National Crappy Comics Competition, one of the most anticipated matches has Garfield taking on Cathy. Both strips have been boring readers with the same 4 gags over and over for more than 25 years. In fact they both share making compulsive eating fun and goofy. Continuity is not a requirement since nothing ever changes. Well, Cathy got married and Andrea’s kids got bigger, but Irvin is the same passive-aggressive loser he was when she dumped him for awhile, years ago. Now that they are married, we can watch them slowly morph into the Lockhorns.

Garfield is one of the few strips it actually has fewer characters than when it started. Jon’s original roommate, Lyman, disappeared years ago to the same place they hid Richie Cunningham's brother, leaving behind his lobotomized dog. Garfield was mildly amusing when he was a bad rip-off of the B. Kliban® Cats, but as soon as he stood upright, he started a sharp exponential decay. At least he still amuses small children and the feeble-minded. No one has found Cathy funny since Donna Summer topped the charts.
Winner/Loser: Cathy



Game 2
vs.

The Just Not Funny Division of the NCCC(tm) is stacked with strong contenders like our next match-up between BC and Family Circus. Johnny Hart is a legend and BC’s early years are milk-out-your-nose funny. As the years wore on, the set-ups grew stale and then religious allegories starting sneaking in to the point people started (justifiably) looking for things to take offense at while the real offense is just not being funny.

Family Circus is an icon and a part of our cultural heritage. If any cartoonist draws a meandering trail of thick dashes, the reference is immediate and recognizable. Bil Keane even has enough of a sense of humor to put the more tasteful parodies and tributes on his web page. The strip is sweet to point of cloying and large doses can induce diabetic shock. Perhaps no other strip is more often and more maliciously parodied, but the heart of the strip is in the right place. The gags have to be deliberately, if easily, misconstrued to be disturbing. BC doesn’t even require that effort.
Winner/Loser: BC



First round action wraps up next with the Walker-Browne Division.
Previous results:
Dead Writers Division
Pointless Soap Division

Second Round Results

Friday, March 17, 2006

NCCC Pointless Soap Division Round 1

Game 1
vs.

Over in the Pointless Soap Division of the NCCC™, we have Mary Worth taking on the girls of Apartment 3G. Both of these strips move at glacial paces with random strangers wandering in and then disappearing forever once their life has been completely changed for the better by our protagonists. Both strips even feature pot-bellied bearded academics. Created in the thirties, these living fossils recall an earlier grander era when the artwork was actually good.

Mary, however, has a reputation as world-class meddler, while the 3G girls are always stumbling randomly into situations, often with romantic overtones. At least Margo, Tommie, and Luann are easier on the eyes than that old biddy who can’t seem to keep any tenants except the drunks by the pool. In a squeaker, the girls get their lease renewed.

Winner/Loser: Mary Worth



Game 2

vs.

Our second game in the Pointless Soap Division pits Mark Trail against Rex Morgan. Both contenders are raven-haired square-jawed do-gooders that date back to the 40’s but haven’t aged a day, largely due to the sluggishness of the narrative. The days in their world literally drag on for months. The pace of these strips makes Mary Worth look like the NBA All-Star game with crystal meth in the Gatorade. Having outlived their original audience by a decade or two, they now serve as camp nostalgia or homework for ESL students. Both have dark haired wives they met at the office and preternaturally clever dogs. The two could probably switch strips for weeks before any one noticed. Throw Sam from Judge Parker on the ambiguously gay dogpile and you would never get the mix straightened out.

Mark Trail’s only redeeming feature is that the freakishly large animals in the foreground distract from the fact that absolutely nothing is happening in the background. Also, the dubiously researched Sunday informative non-narratives prevent the bane of all serial strips, the Saturday-Sunday–Monday time warp where a single panel can be Xeroxed for three days. Rex tries to be relevent by slipping in PSA quality advocacy speeches about things like HEALTH INSURANCE, but no one is buying. In the first upset of the tourney, Mark Trail outlasts Rex.

Winner/Loser: Rex Morgan, MD



The power-packed Just Not Funny Division tips off tomorrow.
Previous results: Dead Writers Division

Side note: Subdivided We Stand is the premiere source for on-line Mary Worth snark. Bob's obsession with the silver-haired busy-body borders on disturbing. This coming from a guy who has linked to Half-Nekkid pictures of April Patterson.

Still having Blogger trouble. The home page keeps flaking out. The archives seem to do OK. this is ultra-annoying. I shouldn't have to babysit my blog like thisl Everytime the homepage disappears I have to re-publish the most recent post. Please be patient.

Blogger Test

I have been getting 403 errors for the past 12 hours. I will delete this post when Blogger is up and running again. Blogger.com has been seriously fracked up for a while. At least I am not the only one having all these problems. If the sidebar is missing or the background is dark blue, please come back a little bit later. Blogger is a great value, but you get what you pay for.