100 Things About My Dog

By a nearly 2 to 1 margin my readers are more intersted in my dog than me. By popular demand, here is more than you need to know about my pet. I would rather talk about ME, but vox populi has spoken.

1. My dog is an English Cocker Spaniel.
2. English Cockers are larger than American Cocker Spaniels
3. but smaller than Springer Spaniels.
4. He weighs about 30 pounds.
5. His name is Chessie
6. which is short for Chesapeake.
7. He was named by his previous owner who discovered he was allergic to dogs.
8. I adopted him from his previous owner when he was about five years old.
9. That was over six years ago.
10. He is AKC registered.
11. But he has a bad underbite which would disqualify him from being a show dog.
12. He has also been "fixed".
    
    
13. I had an English Cocker Spaniel a long time ago that I had to give up when I moved for work reasons and couldn't find a place to rent that accepted pets.
14. Adopting Chessie was karmic atonement for giving away my other English Cocker Spaniel.
15. My other cocker spaniel was named Sunny, which is short for Sunshine,
16. because he was tan.
17. Chessie is roan,
18. which is black, gray, and white with blueish highlights.
    
    
19. Chessie does not get along with very small children or puppies.
20. They are too "bouncy" for him and he snaps and snarls.
21. We had to quit taking him to dog parks because he would guard me from other dogs.
22. Larger calmer dogs he gets along with fine.
23. Except for my neighbors golden retriever.
24. Chessie snapped at him as a puppy and the retriever has held a grudge.
25. Chessie gets along with the three other golden retrievers in our neighborhood.
    
    
26. I walk Chessie twice a day.
27. The morning walk is at 5:30 am.
    
28. The evening walk is around 9 pm.
29. He gets let out for just a couple of minutes a few times a day in between.
30. We walk for one mile.
31. Half a mile if we feel lazy, are pressed for time, or it starts raining.
32. On weekend mornings we walk to the neighborhood school which is 1.5 miles round trip.
33. I let him run off leash on the school grounds.
34. I give him glucosamine for his joints.
    
    
35. Our neighborhood has four pet waste trash cans.
36. They do not keep the rolls of spare baggies stocked.
37. I subscribe to two newspapers so that I never run out of "pet waste" bags.
38. On our walks, when we get to one of the trash cans Chessie tries to turn around.
39. He thinks he is done with the walk at that point.
40. I have to drag him past the trash can and then he will walk the rest of the way just fine.
41. He tries to eat the food he finds on the ground.
42. Like french fries, biscuits, and chicken bones.
43. I just take the food away from him.
    
    
44. Chessie hates getting wet which includes rain and baths.
45. If he gets wet, I have to chase him around the house while he barks at me.
46. I don't know if he can swim.
47. I don't think I'll ever find out if he can.
48. He loves to play in the snow.
49. He likes to eat snow too, but not the yellow snow.
    
    
50. Chessie has a few personality quirks that my wife calls "neurotic."
51. He has to be in the same room I am in.
52. If there is a closed door between him and me he will howl until I let him in.
53. If he is in the same room, he will go asleep and nothing will bother him.
54. And I do mean nothing.
    
    
55. Sometimes after I shower, he will come in and lick the water off of my knees.
56. I find that a little creepy.
57. Chessie eats used Kleenexes and other soiled paper products.
58. My wife finds that VERY creepy.
    
    
59. He is very playful and active for a dog his age.
60. We have a lot of rabbits in our neighborhood that I let him chase.
61. He never catches them.
62. He never even comes close.
63. Plenty of times he runs in the wrong direction from the rabbit, if he sees the rabbit at all.
64. He does not fetch anything.
65. The only game he plays is tug-of-war.
66. He's real ferocious for about five minutes, then it bores him and he quits.
67. He likes having his belly rubbed.
68. and his ears scratched.
69. He is prone to ear infections.
    
    
70. When the family leaves the house, we give him a rawhide treat to chew.
    
71. If he sees us getting ready to leave, he runs to the stair landing and waits for his treat.
72. He will dance or roll over for a treat.
73. Other times we give him ice cubes as "treat."
74. When he hears the icemaker, he runs to the kitchen and begs for an ice cube.
    
    
75. He howls when he hears the garage door open.
76. Most other times he just whimpers until he gets what he wants.
77. We started letting him on the bed and furniture.
78. But he whimpers until we give him permission to jump up.
79. He also needs permission to drink from his water dish.
80. And to eat dinner unless he is really hungry.
    
    
81. He only eats when other people are eating.
82. He will skip meals if no one is home.
83. He does not like dog food very much,
84. but he has a sensitive stomach, so we don't let him eat table scraps.
85. He loves to eat broccoli stalks, green beans, squash and other vegetables.
86. If he hears a knife on a cutting board he will come whimper until you give him some carrot or broccoli or green bean stems.
    
    
87. He doesn't wear a collar in the house.
88. Because the rattling of the dog tags wakes up my wife.
89. He has three dog beds in the house.
90. Four, if you count the old bath mat under the desk.
91. He also sleeps on our bed, the sofas, the stair landings,
92. and the floor between my wife's side of the bed and the bathroom.
93. which is not a safe place for him to be in the middle of the night.
    
    
94. Everyday when I get home, he runs to the door and likes my face very enthusiastically for a long time.
95. He doesn't do this to anyone else in the family.
96. My family corrects me if I call him "our dog".
97. They correct me and say he is "your dog."
98. There is no more loyal devotion than the unconditional love of a dog.
99. If I ever get divorced, I get custody of the dog.
100. My wife insists on it.