Monday, January 23, 2006

Really Desperate Housewife


Update (1/29/07): Brandy Britton committed suicide over the weekend according to a report by the Baltimore Sun.

Last week a hooker got arrested in Ellicott City. It made all the local news channels. It was covered by the Baltimore Sun and the Washington Post. It has made national wire services reports. Why is it news? Because the woman is 41 years old, has a PhD, and was “working” out of her very suburban colonial house on a quiet residential cul de sac. Her name is Brandy Britton and Brandy does appear to be her real name since it is on all her NIH grant applications. Her hooker name was Alexis Angel. Not much of an improvement. I would have stayed with Brandy.

Howard County is a sleepy suburban community just outside of Baltimore but within commuting distance of DC. The per capita personal income is $45,000 a year, exceeding the national average by 50%. It pretty much defines the middle American suburban ideal. The primary selling point is the excellent school system (full disclosure: my wife works for it) which drives up the property values of the area.

Madam Professor, as one blog has already dubbed her, lives in a particularly desirable location because kids in her neighborhood go to the highest performing high school in the highest performing county in the state. The neighborhood is well established with wide sidewalks and huge shade trees. On the weekends, I frequently ride my bicycle right past her neighborhood completely oblivious to the pleasures that would await me if I just turned in and spun my tires for awhile.

Except she’s just a little out of my price range. Her published rate is $300 per hour or $1500 overnight. The undercover cop that busted her was told to leave $400 on the dresser. He must have pre-negotiated some additional services. That’s a lot of money. Ironically, the same day, the Post ran an article next to this story stating that the going rate in the predominately Hispanic neighborhoods of adjoining Montgomery County is $30 for a 15 minute window.

So what makes her worth three Benjamins a throw? According to her very not–safe-for-work web page, she’s blond, 5’8, 135 pounds, and a natural 38D. She underplays the 41 years old part. And did I mention she has a PhD? She sure does. She got one in Sociology from the University of California at San Francisco and was working at a local college until she was involved in some sort of work dispute there.

Which leads into the “why turn tricks?” question. Easy. To pay the mortgage. She’s divorced, unemployed, and lives in a house she bought in 1996 for $256,000. The house is currently appraised at 400 grand, and knowing that neighborhood, the tax appraisal is well on the low side. It is getting very tough to find any single family homes in Howard County for less than a half-mil, especially one in her prime location.

I can’t wait for this media frenzy to really get going. White middle-aged upscale call girl is a ready-made topic for any of the daytime talk shows. I smell magazine articles, Dateline stories, maybe even a Lifetime™ movie-of-the-week. Remember you heard about her first here. And I will keep you updated. Trust me on that. Ellicott City doesn’t have much crime, but what it does have sure is fun to watch.

Update (5/21/06): The Washington Post ran a long article on Brandy and I post some new information here.

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60 comments:

trusty getto said...

Does this mean I'll have to start turning tricks to keep my house? Gee, I hope so . . . .

I had a bit too much fun over on my blog, at your expense no less, but all in good humor. Surf on over and take a look, then work on getting me back, will ya? ;^)

Claude said...

The best part is the disclaimer at the bottom of each page:

Money exchanged in legal adult personal services for modeling is simply for my time and companionship. Anything else that may occur is a matter of personal choice between consenting adults of legal age and is not contracted for, nor is it requested to be contracted for in any manner. This is not an offer of prostitution.

Oh! Well, okay then.

yellojkt said...

I don't think the disclaimer is fooling anyone. Not when you have pictures of you naked on a couch sticking your ass in the air.

used*to*be*me* said...

OMG - I swear on all that is holy - if I could start a web site and publish semi nudes of myself for money, I'd do it. Did you hear about those women in prison (I can't recall the state) who made $300,000 in three months? IN PRISON! Sign me UP!

Plain Jane said...

You know... you gotta admit that it's a brilliant idea. *laughs*

mg said...

Damn.

This Accountant stuff is for the freakin BIRDS!

I'm in the WRONG biz, baby!

Granted, I don't think anyone in Albuquerque has $300 - $1500 to "invest" much less two cents to rub together. *sigh* It's all about location.

mg

Wickwire said...

I'm sure some men just bought her for her brain. (hardy harr harr).

trusty getto said...

Did I read that right? Was m_g talking about rubbing things together in the right location?

That's hot!

mg said...

That's right! And for a meager $500...

;)

mg

Mooselet said...

I really don't understand why anyone cares if someone wants to pay upwards of $1500 to get laid. If you've got that kind of money to throw around and can't get any on your own, well that's just kinda sad. :-)

Forget making soft drugs legal - make prostitution legal. Think of the tax revenue! Then Madam Professor keeps her house and men can keep having sex and the government gets more money. Everyone's a winner.

Karen said...

This is very well written. Good job!

My husband will be asking for updates, since I read parts of it to him...

Courtney said...

Hey, girl's gotta make a living...

Momma Cassie said...

Ew.

She shoulda sold the house and moved to a nice big country estate.

kontan said...

oooo-k. everybody's got their thing...and if not, she can come up with something for a fee

Suburban Turmoil said...

The real question here is how someone with a PhD could have so many typos on her website. I mean, yeesh.

Pixel said...

Find the secret code words:

"You may converse with me in Greek during any session, regardless of length for an additional $100. Please let me know in advance of your appointment of that you would like to speak Greek. I am also fluent in Russian and there is no extra charge for this language."

Anonymous said...

She is worse than the article portrays. Described herself as thin,white, attractive, and intelligent...(1998) My late husband was a victim of one of her so called gender discrimination charges, she knew he had a bad heart, and yes, the horrid stress of having one's professional career trashed by such as her...he had a heart attack and she actually requested when she could visit him in hospital.....she filed the actual suit the day he died. He left a 3by 5 card for her with these words: Dr. Britton
1) you have outlived me
2)you won
3) may you rot in hell.
I am sure he is laughing somewhere... how intelligent does she seem now???

lisa said...

I thought it was funny that she charges an extra $100 if you want to talk to her in Greek, but Russian is free. If I were Russian, I'd be insulted.

yellojkt said...

I knew what "Greek" was. I had to look up "Russian" and was a little surprised. Find out on your own.

Anonymous said...

Brandy Britton is due in Howard county district court 5/25 1:15. will be interesting to see if she gets off with just a fine, or some jail time which could have some very seriuos consequences for her

Anonymous said...

She is back in business. See www.culturedcompanion.com. And she still has her trial coming up. What is she thinking?

yellojkt said...

Thanks for the updates, anonymous. I will be keeping my eyes on the paper and will definitely do an update post.

Anonymous said...

Hellooooooo from down under...yes Ms Britton's reputation is well known to me as Im well known to the lowlife she married and divorced recently. Seems the last 2 bloggers comments I've seen on similar sites of late..seems there's not just a few that'd like to see her screwed in the most legal sense of the word possible. Phd or no- she's a fool.

Anonymous said...

Well according to the DA and the cops she will more than likely not receive any jail time since she is charged with misdemeanors. She was offered probation but turned that down, she wants this to go to trial and with my unfortunate personal experience with her she is going to make this a three ring circus.

As for the other bloggers who are keeping track of her, keep it up she will, not if, get caught again. I am probably one of just a few people that have known her antics since she was right out of high school and this "professtion" that she is in is not new to her...this is a generational path.

Anonymous said...

By the way for a really good laugh check out her personal ad on Yahoo Personals...narrow the search to Baltimore, post-grad education, very liberal political views...you will also see non pixeled pictures of her...and yes those are the pictures that she used on her first website. I guess they were not sexually graphic enough for her current website!!!

Anonymous said...

I don't see that she did anything so wrong. It's against the law, but it's a misdemeanor, and is it really any more harmful than drunk driving or bouncing a check? Less harmful, I would say.

In Maryland, I'd be surprised if she got any jail time. She's just trying to pay the mortgage, and as sad as some folks might think that is, it's her choice.

How about some sympathy, folks? Who's dog did she run over?

Anonymous said...

You bunch of CRAZY LIBERAL MARYLANDER'S.

Anonymous said...

-- Trial in prostitution house case postponed

An agreement between prosecutors and the defense resulted in the postponement Oct. 23 of the trial of a 42-year-old woman charged with running a one-woman brothel in Ellicott City.

Brandy Britton, 42, of the 10200 block of Shirley Meadows Court, in Ellicott City, was scheduled to face trial in Howard County Circuit Court on Oct. 24. Prosecutors and the defense filed a joint motion Oct. 20 to postpone the case, said Wayne Kirwan, a spokesman for Howard County State's Attorney Timothy McCrone.

The request for a postponement was granted by Circuit Court Judge Diane Leasure on Oct. 23, Kirwan said.

The case was postponed because the courtroom slated for the trial was busy at the time, said Christopher Flohr, Britton's attorney.

Although the sides have yet to agree on a date for the trial, the prosecution is scheduling a tentative date for Dec. 18, Kirwan said.

Britton, a former assistant professor at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County, was charged Jan. 17 with four counts of prostitution out of her Ellicott City home. Each charge carries a sentence of up to one year in prison or a $500 fine.

Police were led to Britton's home after receiving numerous complaints that she was running a house of prostitution, according to charging documents.

The 10-month investigation of Britton culminated in January when a police officer entered Britton's home and was directed by her to an upstairs bedroom, where she told the officer to undress and place money on a table by the door, charging documents state.

Anonymous said...

Editorial: An open letter to law enforcement
The Baltimore Examiner Newspaper, The Examiner
Oct 27, 2006 5:00 AM (8 hrs ago)
Current rank: # 8 of 7,377 articles

BALTIMORE - Dear Baltimore City Police Commissioner Leonard Hamm, Baltimore County Police Chief Terrence Sheridan, Anne Arundel Police Chief Tom Shanahan, Carroll County Sheriff Kenneth Tregoning, Howard County Police Chief William McMahon and Harford County Sheriff R. Thomas Golding:


In Thursday’s editorial, “Legalize prostitution for sake of women,” we asked why law enforcement does not treat men and women equally when it comes to prostitution.

Technically, they face the same penalties — a maximum of one year in jail or a $500 fine or both. But why, for example, is Brandy Britton, the former University of Maryland, Baltimore County assistant professor, on trial for prostitution, and not the men who could afford her $300 per hour services? Why is her face flashed before the media, and not those who make escort services like hers possible? Why are women who walk the streets so often arrested and not those who buy their services? In 2005, 1,387 women were arrested and 511 men for prostitution-related crime in Maryland.

Is that what our penal system calls equal treatment before the law? Regardless, statistics show current prostitution-fighting methods have not eliminated the practice. Common sense says they never will, so long as the demand exists.

Some say it’s impossible to reduce demand. We disagree. People said it was impossible to find deadbeat parents who did not pay child support.

But printing the names, addresses and photos in the newspaper and online of those who fail to support their children has helped to make them abide by the law. Why not apply the same techniques to those charged with soliciting prostitutes? We think it is worth the effort to see if the prospect of public shame deters men from making the same mistake again and stops those considering doing it in the first place. Who wants family, employers and friends to know about such seedy behavior?

To aid you in this endeavor, we would be willing to make a full page available free each month to publish the names, addresses and pictures of prostitution customers you have charged. We would leave blank spaces for the nonparticipating governmental units, encouraging citizens to complain to them for tolerating the exploitation of women and lack of commitment to ending this practice.

Please contact Marta Hummel at mhummel@baltimoreexaminer.com to discuss how we can work together. We look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

The Examiner

For your information

Let law enforcement know your opinion on this issue. Call:

» Baltimore City Police Commissioner Leonard Hamm: 410-396-2040

» Baltimore County Police Chief Terrence Sheridan: 410-887-2214

» Anne Arundel Police Chief Tom Shanahan: 410-222-8050

» Carroll County Sheriff Kenneth Tregoning: 410-386-2900

» Howard County Police Chief William McMahon: 410-313-3200

» Harford County Sheriff R. Thomas Golding: 410-836-5400

Examiner

Anonymous said...

She's dead, Jim.

Possibly hung herself.

"Bones"

Anonymous said...

Every one is entitled to worth and dignity. Show compassion. Who will throw the first stone. Usually the ones making judgments(throwing stones) have the guilty conscious. Live and let live.

Anonymous said...

It is indeed very sad and tragic that Ms Britton killed herself. In spite of her background in "higher education" Brandy forgot (or never learned) that there are consequences to our actions. Bad choices often lead to bad outcomes. Of course there are many others in this tragedy who didn’t help matters but ultimately Brandy’s behavior was the underlying problem. It should also be noted that a society which “enabled” Dr Britton is also to blame. Brandy had a lot of adversity in her life which she was never able to overcome. I can’t help but believe that if Brandy had been smarter about her life choices, politics and friends she would be alive today.

Anonymous said...

Trial Nearing, Alleged Call Girl Found Dead
Howard Police Probe Apparent Suicide of Former 'Top-Notch' UMBC Professor

By Darragh Johnson
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, January 30, 2007; Page B01

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/29/AR2007012900654.html

Anonymous said...

Dr Brandy Britton was not a nice person in spite of what others may write. Yes, it was tragic that she committed suicide but she destroyed many lives in her academic career which ironically was focused on women studies. I feel sorry for her children but feel very little for a person who was given every opportunity to rise above her circumstances but failed to do so because she couldn’t see beyond her self.

Anonymous said...

Brandy was a nice woman and she was intelligent and beautiful. Men did victimize her and she was destroyed by a cruel society where foreigners are given special benefits and Americans suffer. She sold herself to pay for her children's educations and she may have killed herself to be at peace. Then again, she may have been murdered as you never know just who was in her "little black book". Did she deserve to lose her home...NO. Did she have to die..NO! Let her family grieve in peace. May God Bless you Brandy.

Anonymous said...

Brandy was even hotter as a graduate student in San Francisco. It was enough that she was already gorgeous, but imagine her as a doctoral student with salivating nerds chasing her around. And, yet, she was always nice to them all. I had lunch with her several times (wanted more but at that time it didn't work out). I wasn't one of the nerds chasing her though, I was a staff member. Sad the way she died. Not sure what led her to her path.

Anonymous said...

Its so easy for some of you to pick her apart. Im an escort, and a mother, and none of you seem to know what you are talking about. The money is hard to ignore...PhD or not, making $300 an hour for doing little or nothing is hard to walk away from. It infuriates me that the ones who consider themselves lilly-white can pick apart someone you didnt know. She was still a person with feelings and I can totally understand why she decided to give up a fight she was likely not going to win with the way working girls are viewed. I can gaurentee you she wasnt ashamed of what she did. A woman is always viewed as a whore when she is comfortable with her sexuality but if a man does it, he's a stud. Im tired of that thinking. If you can compartmentalize your thinking and work in that biz, more power to you. She provided a service to men that most wives wont do for thier husbands. The men pay that money because they KNOW what they are receiving is top-notch care. Wives at home DO NOT do what they should for thier husbands. Escorts by and large are comfortable with themselves, thier sexuality and do not want to wreck homes. She sounded like a brilliant woman that in some ways perhaps angered people and made wrong choices. Does it matter now, people? What are some of you thinking, that a drug taking-disease spreading whore is dead? You cant be more wrong. Her pain was so intense, likely by public scrutiny, that she didnt want to have to face it. I dont blame her really. Who wants to have thier lives pasted on every newspaper or on the 6 oclock news? How perfect would YOU look if that was done to you?
I feel so bad for her, she must have felt she had no hope left...what a terrible, lonely feeling that must have been before she blacked out into oblivion..
Have a care, people.

Anonymous said...

asshole sire..nothing better than laffing at others misfortunes...what goes around comes around

Anonymous said...

Brandy wasn't alone in being well educated and in need of money for sex.
You'd Think the Bar Would Give Her Professional Courtesy

Marsha Watt, a 1990 graduate of Northwestern University School of Law and formerly an associate at the prestigious Winston & Strawn law firm in Chicago, had charges filed against her in February by the Illinois Bar over her most recent conviction for prostitution (i.e., the kind involving sex, for which her published rate, according to a personals ad, was roughly three times what the law firm billed for her).

Anonymous said...

Good Riddance. She was a whore and a bitch. Those of you who are accepting of such behavior are just as guilty. There is honor amongst thieves after all.

Anonymous said...

Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven.

Anonymous said...

i slept with brandy britton about two years ago , before her arrest.i remember i rung the doorbell and she answered the door.she was super looking.she was way more attractive in person.brandy was five six, one hundred in forty pounds.we went upstairs in her dark bedroom.i gave her the money, than we both got nude.im six three with a lean fit two hundred pounds.brandy was verry excited when she looked at my ten inch verry big black dick.she said that the only men that she has sex with are white guys who have only half my size.i was her biggest at ten inches. verry few men are going to be as big as me anyway.i did her on the bed for ten minutes.than i did her doggy style for ten minutes in her bathroom.brandy had averry nice behind for a white women.brandy is the only women who could hang with me sexually.ive slept with fifty one women in my lifetime, and brandy was the second best ever.im sad that she killed herself. she did not deserved to be treated like she was by us,we the people. i hope that this would not happen to anyone else.rest in peace brandy. i hope your in heaven..

Anonymous said...

You don't pay a hooker for sex, you pay her to leave!

Markus said...

Good Job! :)

Mark G said...

Brandy Britton was one of my best friends in College. I haven't spoken to her in years because I've been deployed too much to know what goes on back in the US. That said, I hope and pray that on judgement day when you are judged for your sins, that your arrogance and derision for someone, none of you obviously never knew, humble you before God.

She may have done some of these things, I don't know, but what I do know is you should have all prayed not only for her, but for society as a whole who allow someone to die in this fashion, with only deviants like yourselves lapping up this poor woman's last thoughts of loneliness and despair as her last memories slipped through her mind.

May you all stop dead in your tracks, and seek salvation, and cease damning others when it is clearly your own problems which bring you to humiliate and drive someone else to this tragic conclusion of lost hope. As hope is the last thing to die.

Todd said...

Please remove this disgusting blog. Don't you think you have hurt Brandy's family enough? Remove all blogs pertaining to her, which you have running.

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