Monday, January 28, 2008

Nutjobs and NaJuReMoNoMo


Way back in October of 2005 I named a certain Scientologist movie star Hunkiest. Nutjob. Ever. Since then he has done everything possible to cement his crown. I have long spun an elaborate theory that the break-up between him and a certain redheaded Australian was due to her infidelity being discovered as a result of her pregnancy not being his since he was impotent. This theory refuses to die and was recently rehashed complete with a not entirely convincing timeline and official denials in Defamer.

A side conspiracy theory of mine implies that the child of his with his current starlet wife is not his own and is part of a cover-up when she needed to protect her squeaky clean image and he could use some positive publicity as cover. Now a new book is out alleging things that even my imagination is too tame to invent. Let’s just say that L. Ron Hubbard lives. Why have I written this without naming said nutjob? Because Scientologists are not just nuts, they are highly litigious. I guarantee I will receive at least one comment accusing me of religious intolerance for besmirching such a noble respected religious institution.

NaJuReMoNoMoThe parody newspaper of record, The Onion, has inadvertently commemorated National Just Read More Novels Month with this article (ht to kb) about a town upset at the oddball behavior of one of its inhabitants. He read a book. If you want to be among the many, many winners of NaJuReMoNoMo, you only have four more days left to get that novel read. I’m going to be combing through the comments, e-mail, and Google Alerts for as full a list as I can. I know that Marg and raidergirl are two of the many participants closing in on the coveted Gold Badge.

And for the record, while Dianetics is a complete work of fiction by a second rate hack, it does not count as a novel for NaJuReMoNoMo.

BlatantCommentWhoring™:: Does the couch jumping lunatic hurt or help himself with his constant libel lawsuits?

6 comments:

Mooselet said...

I don't know why he bothers, no one believes him anyway. Short of saving a truck full of puppies from certain doom, I'm not sure that this insane buttmonkey can be rehabilitated. Actually, I don't think even puppies would work.

DemetriosX said...

The more libel suits they file, the more attention they call to themselves and the things people say about them. You gotta figure that a very public suit is probably worth 10,000 book sales. And sooner or later, their semi-secret threats of bodily harm will get them into trouble.

I'm fortunate enough to live in a country where they are not only not recognized as a religion, they are viewed with deep suspicion as a cult and there are occasional calls to investigate them as a potential criminal organization.

Where's your Xenu now?

125records said...

Have you seen the video by Anonymous yet?

2fs said...

Ah, the Bug-Eyed Vole... The vacancy in his eyes is more enormous than that of all the hotels in Witchitit, Nunavut, in the dead of December. Does he hurt or help himself? People are paying attention to him, right?

(As to NuJuMoJo or whatever: looka me, I just finished Daniel Handler's Adverbs this afternoon.)

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Scientology and its followers all scare me. A LOT!

2fs said...

It's a mystery to me why they haven't been named a criminal organization under RICO...given the criminal behavior involved in the cases of Paulette Cooper and "Operation Snow White" on the part of high-ranking "church" officials.

By "they," of course, I mean the Sientologists - it's all a clerical error, that's what led to all the demonization of the Scientologists.