Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Going To The Chapel

Twenty years ago today, I married the person that has been my partner and soulmate for over two decades now. We met in high school and maintained a long-distance relationship through college for nearly four years. We got engaged our sophomore year, but the timing of our wedding was the subject of some negotiation. She finished college a full year ahead of me and had moved to Atlanta. Her family still lived in Florida, but my dad had been transferred by the Air Force to Italy. Since I was still in school, the only times that made sense to schedule a honeymoon was between quarters.

At first, we had wanted the traditional June wedding, but my dad’s tour got extended and we pushed the wedding back to September to coincide with his transfer from Italy to Hawaii. Some people get all the rough assignments. Especially after their eldest son leaves for college.

We decided to have the wedding in Atlanta and organized the event on our own after getting a rough budget approved by my soon-to-be father-in-law. We started planning in February, which was plenty of time to book everything we needed for a September wedding. We even had a few vendors wonder what our rush was. Nowadays there is no way to book and plan a wedding on such short notice. It seems like anything less than eighteen months is impossible. I can’t figure out what is driving that phenomenon. It’s not like more people are getting married. They just seem to be dragging out the process longer.

We were both active with the Georgia Tech Campus Center and asked the priest there to officiate. He had us reserve the Sacred Heart Church in downtown Atlanta for the ceremony itself. For the reception, we booked the penthouse ballroom of what was then the Colony Square Hotel in Midtown Atlanta. The hotel catering coordinator, who called himself Mr. Wedding, warned us that at a reception only one person can actually run the event and it isn’t either of the wedding participants. It can be either the caterer, the DJ/bandleader, or the photographer and it’s better to know who it will be ahead of time. We put Mr. Wedding in charge and he ran it great.

We wanted an elegant but relaxed event but we also had a budget to meet. At the time many things seemed extravagant to us, but by contemporary standards, we were actually fairly spartan. Since the wedding was at 10:30 am, we went with heavy hors d'oeuvres and a buffet for the meal. I hate cheesy wedding bands, so we saved the money and hired a DJ. The reception was only two miles from the church, so we opted to just have a friend drive us from the ceremony to the hotel. Today, nothing short of a stretch Hummer for the entire bridal party would do.

We also kept the bridal party small. The bridesmaids were two of my wife's college friends, her best friend from high school, and my sister. The best man was my roommate, and the other groomsmen were a former Rocky Horror player, and our respective brothers.

Videography was in its infancy, so we skipped having the wedding filmed. I still think that’s the right call. Nobody ever watches the wedding video more than once and people only care about the gaffes and mistakes. Better to remember it the way you want to, rather than constantly see how it really was.

The best budget trimming idea worked out great. My wife had a coworker who did photography on the side. We paid her to take pictures and have proofs developed. Then we used a pro-quality photo store for reprints and assembled our own wedding album and even made separate ones for each set of parents. No professional photographer would have done half as much for twice the price.

We did have a few splurges. The wedding cake had amaretto flavoring, which I have never run across since. It was delicious. I wish I had gotten to eat more of it. And I’m sure there was an ice sculpture or two somewhere. Nothing says throwing money down the drain on a wedding more metaphorically than watching it literally melt away.

The wedding ceremony itself kicked off fifteen minutes late because my grandmother’s unsanctioned family brunch ran long. Also, my mother in her Mother-Of-The-Groom hat got mistaken for a pushy bridal consultant by the church staff. The actual ceremony was beautiful. Catholic weddings run long, but it adds a level of gravitas to the occasion that I think the shorter walk-through ceremonies don’t have. The homily brought more than one tear to an eye, including the priest giving it.

When we arrived at the hotel still in full wedding regalia, the bellman addressed my new bride as “Mrs. Yellojkt,” That’s when I knew I was really, truly married.

The good thing about a morning wedding is that the reception is over before fatigue begins to set in. We did all the dances and greeted all the guests and cut the cake and did the tacky garter traditions all before 3 p.m. As a kickback to us for booking the wedding, the hotel threw in a honeymoon suite and a courtesy “get-away” limo. Since we were just coming right back to the hotel, we had no idea what to do for the hour we had the limo. Just to kill time, I had him drive us over to campus so I could check my exam results. I am such a dork.

My wife's bridesmaids hummed "Chapel of Love", which is a pretty infectious tune cootie, to her all morning as some sort of good luck gesture. The wedding blessings must have taken because twenty years, eight addresses, four cities, two dogs, and one teenage son later, everything is still going strong.


Anonymous said...

mostly a lurker here but . . .
i just got married last October after getting engaged in March (only 7 months later).

we were married in your neck of the woods (the Elkridge Furnance Inn) - they did the catering, in house decorations, coordinating and the cake (a traditional Danish wedding cake to celebrate my husband's heritage)

we did everything else . . . everyone had a good time and it was an elegant (but not prissy - at least I hope not) afternoon affair

some of us can still do it in under 18 months and without horse drawn carriages (geesh you should see some of the stuff out there now!)

Mooselet said...

Awwwww, that's so sweet!!! Congrats on 20 years, you crazy kids.

Of course, now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head for the rest of the night and must curse you, but really all the best. :-)

Francesco Marciuliano said...

Congratulations, Yellojkt!

Wow, twenty years. Not quite "Silver Anniversary" but far from "Paper" so I'm guessing what, "Foil"?

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Yellojkt! Nice post - and nice glasses too!

Anonymous said...

Almost ten years ago, my husband and I managed a catholic ceremony and hotel banquet hall reception in just under five months. I think everyone thought I was pregnant. Wasn't. We just wanted to get it done before his parents drove us crazy. I failed to realize they'd be doing that anyway for the next ten years. It is really sweet how much you remember about your wedding. Congrats on twenty great years and wishing twenty more!

trusty getto said...

Great story, YJ! And, Happy Anniversary to you!

yellojkt said...

They are ALL diamond anniversaries.

The glasses have a story. I was into the big lens and heavy tint but I had a bad chip in one lens beyond the vision range, so it didn't bother me. My wife didn't want all the wedding pictures to have broken glasses visible, so I had to go to the lensmaker to get one lens fixed. The guy lived in Conyers about 20 miles out of town. His lab was in his carriage house garage. I watched him grind and dip-tint the lens while I waited. This was years before the mall stores did the same thing.

Anonymous said...

Happy anniversary, (yellojkt's real first name here).

Congratulations and best to the Mrs.


Anonymous said...

Happy anniversary, may you have many more than 20 anniversarries left to go, and may all of them be very good.

Anonymous said...

Best wishes, yj, you obviously chose (and/or were chosen) wisely!

Thanks for sharing the story of your wedding.

Elizabeth said...

Congratulations on your anniversary and thanks for sharing the story and pictures!

2fs said...

Congratulations! Good story.

Anonymous said...

Um, I just realized in reading over the comments that I wished you only twenty more years of happiness. In the past my wishing skills have not proven to be extraordinary or even subaverage. But just in case, I wish you many, many, many more years of well deserved happiness.

Anonymous said...

It was a beautiful wedding and I have witnessed your happy married life. Continued happiness.

Mother of Invention said...

Here from Michele's..think you were skipped when someone posted at the same time...maybe you were seen twice! Neat wedding story! Congrats! We had our 26 th last July...I wonder what you'll plan for your 25th?!

Bonvallet said...

As I hum the song, "Going to the Chapel" I enjoyed watching that. Beautiful church, beautiful bride, a happily married couple for 20 years, Ah life huh?