One Long Meme

When I started Meme Week, I warned you that they wouldn't all be good. I found this clunker on Impetua's blog. Impetua is a self-confessed Meme Queen, but this one is just cruel and unusual. It's almost a picture perfect example of a bad meme. It is 58 of the most inane questions I have ever seen on a meme. I wouldn't mind it being so long if it weren't so pointless. Here goes, and I promise the next one will be better.

1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
A wrong number.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Usually.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
I want to be a listener, but I end up being a talker.

4 Do you take compliments well?
I try to.

5. Do you play Sudoku?
Not well.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
For a little while.

7. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
I was a counselor at our lame scout camp one year. I taught pioneering and orienteering.

8. What was your favorite game as a kid?
Kick The Can.

9. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you?
No. Wouldn't even consider it.

10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
Probably. My wife converted to Catholicism to marry me, but that was her decision. Her mom is Buddhist, and that wasn't something she was going to be.

11. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
The thrill is in the hunt.

12. Use three words to describe yourself?
Dork. Nerd. Geek.

13. Do any songs make you cry?
Yes, I'm ashamed to say. I can't make it all the way through Janis Ian's "Seventeen" without bawling my eyes out.

14. Are you continuing your education?
No. A bachelors is a terminal degree in my field. No need to go higher.

15. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Barely.

16. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
My wife and kid. Nothing else is worth saving. Especially not my bear-pr0n filled laptop.

17. How often do you read books?
At least some every day.

18. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
Probably past and future equally.

19. What is your favorite children’s book?
Stuart Little. I read it dozens of times.

20.What color are your eyes?
Blue.

21. How tall are you?
5'9". What is this, the DMV? Why not ask weight and birthday?

22. Where is your dream house located?
Within a quarter of a mile of Metro stop on Connecticut Avenue in DC.

23. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
No.

24. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Several months ago. My wife and son go there for lunch pretty often, so I stay off the hook.

25. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
I walked my dog up to the local school and back. (I answered this question on Sunday, even though I'm not posting until today.)

26. Do you like mustard?
Yes, but only the gourmet spicy ones.

27. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
If I had a choice, I would rather eat.

28. Do you look like your mom or dad?
I'm a ringer for my grandfather on my dad's side, but I have my mom's coloring.

29. How long does it take you in the shower?
About five minutes.

30. Can you do the splits?
Not and live.

31. What movie do you want to see right now?
Maybe Spiderman 3.

32. What did you do for New Year’s?
Same thing we do every year. A cheese plate and bottle of spumanti while watching Dick Clark mumble.

33. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
To scary for me to bother seeing it.

34. Do you own a camera phone?
The Treo 700w has a 1.3 megapixel camera.

35. Was your mom a cheerleader?
No, a home ec major.

36. What’s the last letter of your middle name?
"K". That should help out the identity thieves.

37. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
6-7

38. Do you like Care Bears?
Only if they are well marinated.

39. What do you buy at the movies?
A medium popcorn and a drink.

40. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes, but I don't.

41. Do you wear your seat belt?
Always.

42. What do you wear to sleep?
Don't you people get enough of me talking about my underwear?

43. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
Other than hookers and teachers hitting on students, not much.

44. How many meals do you eat a day?
At least three.

45. Is your tongue pierced?
Nothing is pierced.

46. Do you always read MySpace bulletins?
Yes, because I get so few and check so infrequently. I'm only on MySpace to win a contest.

47. Do you like funny or serious people better?
Funny is much better than serious.

48. Ever been to L.A.?
Not only that, I ate lunch on Venice Beach.

49. Did you eat a cookie today?
I don't eat a cookie most days.

50. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
Only for ironic effect.

51. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
I buy CDs and rip them. I rarely download, legally or illegally.

52. Do you hate chocolate?
I hate chocolate cake and chocolate ice cream, but I love chocolate bars. Don't ask me to explain. It makes no sense.

53. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
Whether or not I can go to see Molly Hatchett on New Years Eve. Of course, I haven't been sixteen for a long time.

54. Are you a gullible person?
Gullible isn't even in the dictionary.

55. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
My wife wouldn't approve of that.

56. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be?
Antique bookstore owner.

57. Are you easy to get along with?
Why wouldn't I be?

58. What is your favorite time of day?
Whenever I'm blogging.

I wouldn't want to wish this meme on anyone, but that doesn't mean I can't cruelly mock it. When confronted with memes this bad, I either try to pile as many links to old posts in as I can or try to figure out which question is the lamest. For me, it's assuming I might be a fan of The Grudge or have run out of so many places to pierce that I've gotten around to my tongue.

BlatantCommentWhoring™: Tell me if you've seen lamer memes than this.