Friday, November 07, 2008

Uggh at Uga

For about two weeks now I have been grimacing (pun intended) every day at the comics. Mother Goose and Grimm has been running into the ground a gag about Grimmy being the understudy mascot for the University (sic) of Georgia’s inbred nuts-licking abomination of a mascot, Uga. Uga is the name of all of UGA’s (Uga – U-G-A, get it? Good, excuse me while I vomit) bulldogs. I think they are up to Uga VII, each one uglier thant the last. Somewhere deep in the bowels of the UGA veterinary science building is a breeding lab where only the drooliest, wrinkliest, and least intelligent puppies are allowed to breed. The ones that don’t make the cut are sold off to Yale, Georgetown, Mississippi State, and Gardner Webb as second-rate imitations.

Finally, Mother Goose and Grimm's nauseating sequence of lame fire hydrant jokes has paid off with a gag about the true role of a bulldog, a victim of yellow jacket venom. I end with a few bulldog jokes from various locations on the internet (including here):

How do you get a Georgia graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

Q: How many University of Georgia freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at University of Georgia weddings?
A: To keep the flies off the bride.

Two University of Georgia fans were at the UGA-Tech game when Uga walked out to the middle of the field and started licking himself as dogs are wont to do.
The first Georgia fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."
The second Georgia fan replies, "You better not, that dog would bite you."

What do you get when you breed a pig with a bulldog?
Nothing. There are some things a pig just won’t do.

The comic strip is woefully off schedule; Tech doesn't play UGA until November 29, but it's never to soon to start hating early.

BlatantCommentWhoring™:Go ahead. Tell a Georgia joke. Or one for the rival of your choice.


Unknown said...

Man... One of my favorite bloggers is a Bulldogs fan... He will cross oceans to find you for posting these jokes.

yellojkt said...

A good feud would do my traffic good.

Bring it on.

A Free Man said...

A Georgia fan, an Auburn fan and a Tech fan were sentenced to death in the electric chair. The appointed day came, the Georgia fan was strapped in and was asked whether he had any last words. "Go you Hairy Dogs," he said. The warden pulled the switch and nothing happened. The warden said, "State law provides that if you survive an electrocution, you can go free." The Georgia fan got up and left. The Auburn fan was brought in, strapped in the chair and asked for his last words. "War Eagle," he said. The warden pulled the switch and nothing happened. He, too, was allowed to go free. The Tech fan was then brought in and asked for his last words. He looked up and said, "If you don't connect the white wire to the ground terminal connection, you'll never get this thing to work."

A Free Man said...

Wait, I have more:

What's the difference between Tech and Cheerios? Only one of them belongs in a bowl.

What do you call a pretty girl on the Tech campus? A visitor.

Rumor has it that after one bitter game between Georgia and Tech during which Tech was wrecked as usual, the frustrated engineers started throwing dynamite at the Georgia students. This made the Georgia students so mad, they began lighting the sticks and throwing them back.

Oh, can't wait for Clean, Old Fashioned Hate. How long has it been since you guys won?

yellojkt said...

Those are pretty good. And when a UGA grad moves to Alabama he raises the IQ of both states.