The problem with movie awards is that the categories are too broad. Basically, the acting nominations are divided into male and female and leading and supporting. This makes for too many tough comparisons. Can an actress in a period piece really be compared to one in a contemporary thriller. The Grammies have the right idea. They have sub-categories for every imaginable sub-genre of music.
As a public service, I suggest we need a separate category for the different types of roles. One character type that seems to get over looked at awards time is the very important role of Movie Stripper. Movie Strippers are very different from real strippers:
- Movie strippers never actually take all their clothes off.
- Movie strippers are attractive even before five beers.
- Movie strippers seem to have lots time to discuss their personal lives in excruciating detail.
- Movie strippers have elaborate costumes and choreographed routines that make Broadway musicals seem like kindergarten pageants.
- Movie strippers don’t use bad make-up to cover their needle tracks.
- Movie strippers never hustle overpriced drinks then leave as soon as some drunk codger across the room wants a lap dance.
- Movie strippers never promise to meet you after their shift and then sneak out the back door with the bouncer to avoid you. (OK, this last one might just be me.)
My nominees for the First Annual Jennifer Beals Memorial Award for Best Movie Stripper are:
Since the awards shows won't recognize the valuable contributions of these thespians, I have started my own poll. Vote below and be sure to leave a comment if you vote for other.