With March Madness upon us, it is time for the signature event here at Foma Central, our fourth annual comics competition. For this year, we go back to some well-trod territory, the sexiest/hottest comics character. And yes, it has been done before. In 2007 we did Hottest CILF Soap Division which ended in a dead heat between Abbey Spenser and June Morgan as well as Hottest CILF Comics Division where Toni Daytona ran away from the pack.
Other websites have even gotten into the act. Michael Cavna at the Washington Post's Comic Riffs is also taking nominees for his 2009 sexiest comics character contest (mostly to deafening silence). So to keep it fresh, we are upping the ante and sexy is not enough for this year's National Kinkiest Komics Karacter Kompetition aka NKKKK. We are searching for the ones with the most shocking secret life.
The selection committee has already made a list of automatic bids, but I'm looking for some at-large entries. Feel free to nominate your favorites in any of this year's categories which are:
Hottest Mom: Let's put the M into CILF. Which comic mother is baking cookies in the kitchen but swinging from the chandelier in the bedroom? This category promises to be the most crowded. Let the arguing begin.
Hunkiest Soap Guy: In the past we've neglected the men in our competitions out of some subliminal homophobia, but no more. And in this category ambiguous sexuality is not a detriment, it's a plus.
Best Bear: And we aren't talking Pluggers here. Which hirsute hunk raises the blood pressure of the chubby chasers?
Kinkiest Couple: Another crowded category. Of all the couples in the comics, who flies the freak flag the highest once the bedroom door is closed?
Barely Legal: For this grouping, the girl must be out of high school (we just are NOT going there) but arguably under thirty. Yeah, I got a rather elastic definition of 'barely.'
Most Dutiful Dominatrix: Who brings the discipline and knows their way around a dungeon?
The rules are just as they have always been: The character must be from a newspaper comic strip currently in syndication. No webcomics which are easily an order of magnitude kinkier than anything that must pass muster with the bluehairs that edit the comics pages.
The "current" requirement is also known as The Brandy Rule since it prevents the fanboys with all their stuck-together copies of Liberty Meadows from stuffing the ballot box, to coin a euphemism. I'm also instituting a No Foobs rider on the rule. The Pattersons are dead to me. We must never speak of them again.
Now get nominating.