Sunday, March 29, 2009
NKKKK: Hottest Mom
And we wrap up the qualifying rounds of this year's National Kinkiest Komics Karacter Kontest with the most anticipated category, the running of the MILFs. Comic moms, like CBS sitcom wives, have always been much hotter than their dorky husbands, a wish fulfillment scenario that explains a lot about comic strip writers. Because of the strong field, I have excluded the soap moms (namely June Morgan and Abby Spencer) in hopes of keeping some balance. What makes a mom hot is up to your own fevered imagination, but I will try to handicap the field.
Dennis The Menace
When it comes to the classic Father Knows Best traditional mom, none can top the perfectly coiffed and preternaturally slim Alice Mitchell. This SAHM is also almost always mute in the daily strips alternating between expressions of exasperated exhaustion and bemused affection.
With unconventional good looks, Connie with the inverted ta-tas spends her time keeping her teenage slacker son in line. One has to suspect she has a medicine cabinet of mother's little helpers to help her make it through the day.
Heart of the City
This young single mother is always frazzled. Keeping up with her tutu-ed hellion takes all her energy. Without a man in the household, she needs some adult companionship to keep her out of the sherry. I'm sure she is only two jello shots away from dancing on the table.
9 Chickweed Lane
No comic mom has a higher libido than Juliette Burber, mother of the equally hormonal Edda. The leopard print panties alone are enough to pique the imagination. While she recently made an honest man out of her milquetoast boyfriend, one suspects he cannot possibly be man enough for her.
Speaking of jungle cats, there is a bit of the cougar in Nancy DeGroot as she probes into TJ's sordid and possibly imaginary past. While not as voluptuous as some of the other entries, those are serious DSL smackers she has on her.
Don't be fooled by the overly sensible Mom-Do she sports, those are some serious sweater puppies that Thel is smuggling under her turtleneck. You don't get four kids that close in age to each other without being a little frisky. I'd just be a little wary of getting too close to anything that popped out Billy and Dolly.
Blondie is the only titular mom in the field. If the contest were based on cup size alone, there would be no competition whatsoever. However, despite her penchant for lounging in lacy lingerie, Blondie seems to do little actual parenting, preferring to focus on her catering business.
I'm sure I haven't covered all the many fine comic moms so feel to write in your personal favorite. I expect this category to be the competitive and popular one yet.