Thursday, December 20, 2007

Very Special Episodes

How fast they grow up. It seems just a little while ago that Jamie Lynn Spears was in the running to be Teenage Girl President and now she is Teenage Girl Pregnant. Taking the career ending move that Vanessa Hudgens pioneered one step further, she announced that she will be having a kid on or about her seventeenth birthday.

Back in the day, family shows like Facts of Life, Blossom, and ALF used to have Very Special Episodes where kids learned important facts about serious issues. Modern tweener shows on Nickelodeon and Disney steer away from controversial topics and focus more on “problems” like lying to your parents and not getting your homework done on time.

In order to provide a more realistic set of issues I propose some Very Special Episodes for some current shows popular with the tweener set:

Zoey 101 – Zoey’s new boyfriend (guest star Zac Efron) talks Zoey into one night of sex to prove he isn’t gay, but she ends up pregnant. The rest of the season is spent with her hilariously hiding her condition from her friends until in the series finale double episode her water breaks on prom night. There may be some copyright issues to iron out.

Suite Life of Zack and Cody – The school wrestling coach singles out Zack for extra practices because he claims that Zack has a good shot at the state championship. Cody is bringing by a homework assignment when he accidentally sees what moves the coach is really teaching. Meanwhile, Maddie and London have been using empty hotel rooms to film amateur porn with Mr. Moseby.

Life With Derek – The whole family is excited when Derek shows a sudden interest in Chemistry class. Casey finds a grocery store receipt with psuedophedrine and batteries on it and realize what sort of experiments he is really doing in the basement. Meanwhile, Lizzie accidentally does a Google Search for “Jordan Todosey naked” and ends up here .

Hannah Montana - Hannah goes on tour with the Nickelodeon rivals Josh and Drake. When she returns, she starts acting strange and drinking heavily. Thinking that she is hiding something, Lilly and Oliver search Miley’s purse only to find a bottle of Valtrex. They both get real nervous. Hilarity ensues.

BlatantCommentWhoring™: Pitch your own ideas for an episode.

Update (4/30/2008): For more tweener Very Special Episodes, see the Miley Cyrus inspired sequels.


MaR said...

JL Spears' pregnancy is all over! Haven't watched these shows (because I am in Spain) but I enjoyed your proposals !!

Long time no see, that's why Michele sent me your way :)
Merry Xmas!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I can't think of any but oh man...there has to be something for High School Musical too.

I'm going to laugh some more now.

Anonymous said...


Jeff and Charli Lee said...

How about Cory in the House, except instead of living in the White House Cory gets mistaken for the perp in an armed robbery gone bad and ends up in the BIG house! Same name, different high jinx!

Elizabeth said...

I don't know any of these shows, well, except for Facts of Life and Elf. Remember when Tootie ran away to the city and befriended a hooker and almost became one herself?? I miss that show...

Elizabeth said...

Oops, that was supose to be Alf, not Elf, must be the season.

2fs said...

You know far, far too much about this particular area of media. I'll be good and assume it's because you have a teenage son... Anyway: my favorite aspect of the whole Spears situation is that it seems to have contributed to a "delay" in Mom Spears' parenting book. Damn - as a blogger friend of mine pointed out, that had potential to be the comedy sensation of the season.

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This will not succeed in reality, that is what I think.