Saturday, January 26, 2008

Zoey Zingers

Jamie Lynn Spears is still pregnant. Since her big announcement she has been playing things suspiciously sensibly. She was seen with a GED study guide so that she has a diploma to fall back on when the whole tween role model gig falls apart. She also announced that her mom will be getting custody of her child so that she can carry on with her TV career. This is actually a rather common coping strategy in these cases. I know of several families where kids that are presented as siblings are really parent/child. My only concern is that Mama Spears doesn’t exactly have a great track record in raising normal stable children.

New episodes of Zoey 101 start on Sunday and I’ve invented a new viewing game. After every line of dialog add the phrase “because I’m pregnant” Rocky Horror style. I tested this gimmick on a few reruns and the results can be hilarious, well modestly amusing:

I don’t want to be class president...because I'm pregnant.

So you think you can beat me...because I'm pregnant.

I don’t want this to affect our friendship...because I'm pregnant.

No I’m trying to be good...because I'm pregnant.

You’re in trouble...because I'm pregnant.

Everybody thinks I made it...because I'm pregnant.

I’m not eating raw fish in a closet...because I'm pregnant.

This whole week I’ve been getting mad at you but its all Logan’s fault...because I'm pregnant.

Maybe I did in the past, but I’m not going to anymore...because I'm pregnant.

I thought you might be a little depressed...because I'm pregnant.

Stop acting like a freak right now...because I'm pregnant.

He and I are boyfriend and girlfriend...because I'm pregnant.

We can’t help that we’re in love...because I'm pregnant.

Just kiss me like you always do...because I'm pregnant.

It worked out. Just not like I planned...because I'm pregnant.
Give it a try if you can find Nick on your channel line-up and can stomach the view of a Spears emoting.

BlatantCommentWhoring™: Is the Jamie Lynn Spears situation merely schadenfreudistically tragic or Rock Hudson/Doris Day level ironic?


Unmolested Altar Boy said...

I bet $20 that this Spears brat will become a grandmom by the age of 30

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I feel sorry for the baby and it's not even born. Grandma is a horrid mom...her a mess. And lets face it..we all eat it up because we feel good because their life sucks. So yeah, it schadenfreudistically tragic. And oh how I love that german word!

Carol Ott said...

This sounds like a drinking game waiting to happen! WOO HOO!

yellojkt said...

I was going to call it a drinking game, but since the target demographic is about twelve, I figured that might be a little irresponsible. Not that getting knocked up when you are a tween idol is the height of responsibility.

Carol Ott said...

Since so many of my friends act like 12-year-olds, this drinking game might just work. HA HA HA.