When I did Sexiest CILF two years ago I lumped all the female characters together which wasn't particularly fair. So for this year's Kinky Karacter Kompetition I have broken then into the young single ladies and the moms. Oddly, this grouping was the harder bracket to fill-out (so to speak), made all the more difficult by my No High School Students rule. Here are the candidates:
 | Toni Daytona Luann Toni ran away with the Hottest CILF last time, but I would hope that in the past two years we have grown tired of her cock-teasing ways. Not that Brad "Box of Rocks" DeGroot has. He still follows her around with those pathetic puppy dog eyes of his. Just remember that despite her hot looks, she is a cold-hearted bee-yotch. |
 | Alex Doonesbury Doonesbury The only actual college co-ed in this Girls Gone Wild division of the comics competition, Alex is young but knows the landscape, at least in theory. While there is on-going debate about how hawt she really is, who wouldn't like to fondly re-enact those days of dorm room lust? Eagerness to try the waters has to count for something. |
 | Edda Burber 9 Chickweed Lane Nobody creates as much comics heat as the recently deflowered Edda Burber. What could be a hotter start into the world of passion than doing it on top of a paino while being secretly web-cammed? And regular comic strip readers can pretend she is obtainable because she is clearly smitten by uber-dork Amos. I mean, if he can hit that, any of us could. |
 | Lila The Meaning of Lila A relative newcomer, Lila is a young woman with dead-end job and an obsession with shoes and meeting cute guys. Think of her as a younger, thinner, hotter Cathy. On the other hand, don't think of Cathy, ever. Lila haunts the bars with her cute gay coworker looking for quick hook-ups and neverending parties. And who couldn't go for a girl like that at the end of the night? |
 | Miss Buxley Beetle Bailey As the hottest thing at Camp Swampy for the non-don't-ask-don't-tell, Biss Buxley has been around. This fun party girl has gone out with Killer, Zero, and Beetle, so she can't be too fussy. Unfortuntely, she learned her office skills from the Fanne Fox Secretarial School (now there is a vintage pop-cultural reference). |
The field is wide open. Pick which young thing does it for you.
29 comments:
In Toni's defense, she's been spending those past couple years doing everything but stripping naked in the fire-station break room and begging Brad to take her. Not that that would have any further effect on such an inhibited, sexless lump.
Anyway, I'm going to have to write in for Ashley from My Cage. She's not really especially shapely or anything, but she's got a look picked out and rocks it hard, and is creative and spunky. On the other hand, it looks like she's got some deep-seated emotional issues, and you don't want to be on her bad side. But I hear that she's a tiger in bed ;)
I just can't bring myself to vote for Toni or Edda even though I suspect Toni and Brad been doin' it for months and just didn't tell Greg Evans, and Edda finally got Amos to give in.
Unfortunately, Cookie Bumstead's probably still jailbait. How about Veronica Lodge? Is she 18 yet?
I'm gonna have to go with Neddy Spencer. Even though she hasn't appeared in the funny paper in like, two years. Hard to pass up a Barreto.
Write in for me - for her _personality_ (looks are something else), in the ery young but obviously not in school, I'll write-in Ashley Bengal from My Cage. Tough, no-nonsense, wicked sense of humour, and probably a tiger in the sack (sorry, had to do it). She doesn't seem to have fully settled-down, and her "boyfriend" is as mysterious as it may be imaginary...
Niall from CC
Alex Doonesbury is in the running? She has her dad's face! That's a common look in the Dooniverse, so maybe it's not off-putting for them. Of course, she does have hawt brains and some personality to boot, but I can't give those full credit after her past efforts to be more vapid like her contemporaries.
Cookie Bumstead, FTW.
Hey, where's Cassandra Cat? Without her it's just a giveaway to Toni Daytona; all of the other nominees are sexy, with the possible exception of Alex Doonesbury, but you know that Toni's going to take it.
Aaah, a category I’m a little more comfortable with. This is pretty much a two-person race, so let’s get the others out of the way first.
Miss Buxley: Like the other denizens of Camp Swampy, this vapid stereotype is decades out of place. Not that we should really expect anything else from Walker/Browne Amalgamated. Frankly, I don’t really see the attraction (outside of where she stands compared to the other females in the strip). She has a decent body, but she’s dumber than a bag of hammers, and as somebody or other once pointed out, the brain is a sexual organ. Thanks, but no.
Lila: I know very little about her or her strip, but from what I’ve seen she’s self-centered and a mega-bitch. Pretty much everything about her is a turn-off. Again, no.
Alex Doonesbury: Alex may be cute and very girl-nextdoor in terms of looks and she’s damn smart. Heck, if I were 20-something again and at MIT, I might be interested (if I could look past her roommate, Drew). But the fact is Alex just isn’t hot.
Edda: Edda’s got it all, really: brains, looks, a few geeky interests, and a thing for geeks. She has two major drawbacks. First, she’s a little too perfect. Second, she has really ugly feet (occupational hazard of ballerinas). She’s probably the second seed in this category.
Toni: Definitely hot and into a variety of guy things, like cars. She also carries a bit of baggage, but we haven’t seen or heard of him in a while. OTOH, she seems to be very patient and able to look beyond surface qualities.
I think I’m going to have to go with Edda. I certainly wouldn’t say no to Toni, but I have rather less in common with her, and I’m not sure I like the idea of being with a woman who can sling my inert form over her shoulder and carry me off.
Man, there are a lot of votes here!
Brandy from Liberty Meadows by a mile!
How did you miss Cookie Bumstead?
I would do nasty, nasty things to Edda. But I have stopped reading the strip since Amos finally got what he didn't deserve.... My hatred of him now exceeds any normal response to a comic strip. I can't even look at Edda now.
Maybe I'm taking this too personally.
Cookie is still in high school. Liberty Meadows is no longer in print. If Brandy were allowed in, there would be no reason to have the poll.
Cassandra Cat vs Ashley Bengal would be a good undercard.
VE,
It's the Power Of Josh. It's good to have friends in high places.
I went with Toni, but I'm still smitten by Yenny.
I would not think some of these count as "Barely Legal." Toni has to be mid twenties easy and Miss Buxley has to be in her 40's, even though you couldn't tell by looking. Besides, Bridget and Maureen are 100 times hotter that Ashley.
Here's one for Mr Boffo's wife: downtrodden, nameless and truly it.
http://www.mrboffo.com/comicsweb/mrboffoweb/strips/20090316bfo_s_web.jpg
Wade Hassler
It's Cassandra Cat or nothing, for me.
I used to dig edda, but that damn strip is one giant cocktease, with storylines that are dragged out over months when a week or two would be plenty.
so I went with Toni daytona. i think. i mighta chose edda.
quite frankly, i'd nail the lot of them
I've always fancied the bookish type, so Ms. Doonesbury is my pick. That's also the only strip I read with any regularity!
Ted Forth, by a landslide.
I'm semi-shallow. I write in Alex Doonesbury's roommate.
I know that technically she's about 100, but has anyone checked out the rack on Blondie lately? Yowza! You know Dag hasn't hit that for years, so she's probably ready for any action.
Lila reminds me of an old Hungarian comic character, Jucika. This may be the only picture of her on the web:
http://www.antikvarium.hu/ant/foto.php?id=2940621&h=150&w=113
(and that wasn't easy to find!)
Aha! I found an actual Jucika strip.
http://www.ddr-comics.de/fw/einzel/jucika.jpg
She probably would have qualified, back in the day.
I think David Alvarez' "Yenny" (http://gocomics.com/yenny) would run away with this category if it was more widely in circulation!
Though maybe not barely-legal, my vote goes to Vicky the Biker from Rose is a Rose. Especially the early versions of her were very hot.
What about Aunt Fritzie from Nancy, her tits are busting out of her top, and she's the dark sultry type.
To my mind every person ought to browse on it.
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