Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Esquire Gets It Wrong

A hot weekend night in the yellojkt household usually includes a late night trip to Borders. More than once we have shut the place down. Wohoo!

After browsing the new releases and checking out what’s on sale in the music department, we settle in for the evening. I treat the café like a library with a two drink minimum. The wife and I will grab a couple of magazines we want to read, but not necessarily buy, and snag a table in the café and read while drinking coffee drinks.

Esquire magazine which I used to subscribe to but don’t anymore has their annual Women We Love issue on the stands now, so I decided to give it a glance through. This year’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” is some starlet named Jessica Biel that I have never heard of. Since I never watch "Seventh Heaven" and haven’t seen the couple of bad movies she has been in, this is not a shock.

What is a shock is how bad Esquire can miss this call after being so right last year. Just mouse over the photo of Jessica below to get a picture of last year’s pick.

I'm sure the selection of Sexiest Woman has a lot to do with the willingness of the candidate to do a wet bikini photo spread in Esquire. They should have retired the category until they could have come up with someone more talented and better looking than the B-list Maxim cover reject they had to settle for. The only redeeming factor of the issue is that in a complicit admission of their mistake, they have a double page pull-out of last year’s cover without all the annoying article blurbs. That’s worth the price of the magazine, not the eight pages wasted on future Where Are They Now subject Jessica Biel.

Yes I know that this is the third time in the last month I have featured a picture of Angelina Jolie on my blog. But when faced with major public institutions making wrong-headed decisions based on availability and expediency rather than true qualifications and merit, I feel I must make a stand. That goes for Supreme Court Justices as well as for Sexiest Woman Alive. Maybe now that Angelina Jolie has been stripped of her Sexiest Woman duties, she has time to be a Supreme Court Justice. I'll add her to the short list.

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Adam Wright said...

So right you are.

Mooselet said...

Dude, I'm a chick and I think Angelina Jolie is hot. This girl shouldn't be mentioned in the same breath as Ange, and certainly not placed in the same category.

Suburban Turmoil said...

We -do- subscribe to Esquire and my husband expressed the same outrage over this month's cover choice.

I actually read Esquire more often than he does, so I thought the pullout poster of LAST year's cover model was pretty telling. They may as well have written "We screwed up" on the back of that poster...

Anonymous said...

It's not that Jessica isn't a serious hottie - she is.

But as I read through the previous months of Esquire trying to guess who the winner would be, she *never* crossed my mind.

Jinxy said...


The title of "World's Sexiest Woman" is retired until Angelina loses a limb to a Cambodian landmine.

In actuallity, last month's cover girl, Keira Knightly, should have been this year's winner. In fact, that's who I thought it was when my October issue came.

That one was nice.

Unknown said...

Jessica Biel?! I can't stand Jessica Biel. She has about as much talent as my left pinky. (My right one is actually pretty nimble, so I had to include "left" in that sentence.)

And she is most definitely not even in the same ballpark as Angelina.

Read/Think/Live said...

There must be a lot of politicking, trading, bartering, quid-quo-pro-ing involved in the choice of the "Sexiest Woman Alive" cover. It's worth a lot of money to the woman in question, career-wise. So when they choose someone who obviously is maybe the #153rd sexiest woman in the world (not shabby, but a long way from #1) it just makes me speculate about the behind the scenes action. (wink, wink, nudge, and so on)

paula said...

Kiera Knightly? *GAGS* She's the worst actress I've ever seen... at least Jessica Biel has a weensy bit of talent.

However, I will agree with the Loss of Limb stipulation in Angelina's contract.


Jinxy said...

I like it when she plays the spunky tomboy and shows her abs.

I'm not really concentrating on her acting.

Anonymous said...

Jessica Biel as the sexiest woman alive is the equivalent of the year People chose Ben Affleck as the sexiest man alive -- a "what were they thinking?!" moment.

Of course Angelina Jolie is the sexiest woman alive. It's a simple fact of life, like "the earth is round," or "Mary Worth is a meddler."

--Sue T., who believes that George Clooney should just win Sexiest Man every year

trusty getto said...

I think Harriet Miers is *very* sexy :)

Martin said...

Good post, and, as you know, I agree.

Say, would you be willing to share the html code for that image-mouse-over-thingy?

My email is in my profile.

I'd be much obliged.


Anonymous said...

I read today that Angelina Jolie is the celebrity lesbians would most like to have sex with, according to a poll by Gaydar Radio (other top choices - Charlize and Jodie). Top male choice by gay men was David - insert your own "Bend it" joke - Beckham.

I assume, yellojkt, that you've seen Gia, the tragic supermodel movie?

Anonymous said...

they got it right dumbasses, it depends on what ppl like, not some old gangly coke whore like jolie, whatever, maybe she will adopt a hot kid

she is hot, just not my cup of tea, biel is hott