The Women Of Weiner

There are many angles to the latest news scandal about how Congressman Andrew Weiner allegedly sent a college co-ed a photo of his semi-turgid member underneath his underwear. Now the actual origin and vector of that photo will be Zaprudered for weeks to come, but one interesting point was made by recent college co-ed and Washington Post humor blogger Alexandra Petri about the composition of Rep. Weiner's twitter followees.

And of the 200 people @RepWeiner follows on Twitter, a surprising number (well, more than zero, at any rate) do seem to be what might be termed nubile out-of-state houris.

Deciding to not take her word for it, I conducted my own independent investigation. Here is a smorgasbord of the people Weiner finds interesting.


Representative Capps is a coworker and colleague. Nothing out of line here.


Another fellow congresscritter. Arguably cuter. And single.


A CNN anchor. A guy has to stay informed. Who cares if she's a newsbabe? It's the quality of the reporting that counts, right?


An up-and-coming journalist. Makes sense to have some friends in the Fourth Estate.


A New Yorker. Possibly a constituent. You have to keep up with the common people.


I gotta dispute the 'body of a trucker' description. She seems pretty cute and at least she's a New Yorker.


Another New Yorker. Who cares if she's in the fashion industry and blazing hott?


A woman with a strong opinion on an important issue.


Another political junkie. One who wears really cute hats.


A lot of enthusiasm, but it seems to be mostly for the internet start-up she's associated with as evidence by this tweet elliptically referencing the current kerfuffle:

I'm pretty sure I only have room for one Brooklyn Weiner in my life...@DoSomething CTO George Weiner. Follow him @GeorgecaWeiner #15minutes

Now we are moving into some dangerous territory. There is no obvious connection to politics or New York but she does rock the brainy glasses.


At least we are back to politics. Incidentally, Lady Fox Fyre's twitter feed is invite-only and she only has 30 followers, so our congressman is in pretty select company.


A college student from Pennsylvania. Tsk, tsk, these are the sort of follows that get you a reputation, Andrew. Ms DeVinney does have this to say:

I normally TRY not to generalize but anyone who thinks Weiner sent a picture from his TWITTER is an idiot. GOP care about something real.

At least she is a college professor but there is a little bit of a come hither tone in the profile.


A cutie with this to say as well:

Poverty, education, healthcare, corporate greed, & Snooki's car accident. Seriously, there are way more important things to report about.

Another invite-only feed, but once you have 'kitten' and 'X' in your handle, there some innuendo going on.


An anonymous woman with no profile photo but a twitter handle that is brainy and sexy.


When it comes to suggestive handles and profile photos, it doesn't get more risque that this.


And once you have hearts and a call-out to Anaïs Nin in your profile description, a line has been crossed.

Perhaps I'm following the wrong track. Maybe the issue shouldn't be who Weiner would like to tweet his wiener to, but who would appreciate such a tweet.


Weiner and Stewart are actual friends so it seems odd that he follows the gay parody twitter feed rather than the real thing.


Not sayin' a thing.


If you are tweeting crotch shots as a constituent service, this would be the place to send it.


Only because when you are discussing Weiner, there is a legal obligation to make a Boehner joke as well.

From this rather prejudiced and selectively organized sub-list feel free to draw your own conclusions. But, please, please, please, do not stalk these otherwise innocent bystanders and by all means don't try to frame any outspoken congressmen by faking a junk shot and framing them as the recipient.

Obama Watches Glee

This photo:



Made me have this reaction:



Which raises another important question, since Obama is a government employee, does he have to contribute to the White House coffee fund?

Finally, do not skip the funniest 'Situation' Room meme mash-up ever. Make sure to scroll through them all.

Rally For Inanity

If you are going to the Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert rally on the Mall tomorrow, make sure you have a witty erudite sign to wave in front of the cameras. If not, just use this one:



You can download a printable pdf version by clicking on the image below:

I hope to see all my fellow radical moderates there.

Where Not To Go In DC

According to the Tea Party of Maine, you should not ride the Yellow or Green lines of the DC Metro.

If you are on the subway stay on the Red line between Union Station and Shady Grove, Maryland. If you are on the Blue or Orange line do not go past Eastern Market (Capitol Hill) toward the Potomac Avenue stop and beyond; stay in NW DC and points in Virginia. Do not use the Green line or the Yellow line. These rules are even more important at night. There is of course nothing wrong with many other areas; but you don't know where you are, so you should not explore them.

Rachel Maddow reacts:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Places I have been to recently which are on those lines include Dukem Ethiopian Food on U Street and Oyamel Cocina Mexicana, home of the cricket taco. On the other hand perhaps Tea Partiers are better off not stretching their culinary palate in that way.

From the Official Maine Tea Party DC Tourist Guide, they offer this helpful piece of xenophobia on why DC is so unsafe:

DC's population includes refugees from every country, as the families of embassy staffs of third world countries tend to stay in DC whenever a revolution in their homeland means that anyone in their family would be in danger if they went back.

For those teabaggers who are tempted to try some ethnic food, they do offer this suggestion:

Libertarianish Virginia economics professor Tyler Cowen extensively explores and reviews restaurants, especially Northern Virginia Asian fare, at http://tylercowensethnicdiningguide.com/

I like the idea that a professor has to be identified as 'libertarianish' so as to remove the taint of taking ethnic food suggestions from an actual member of the educated elite.

So, teabaggers, please by all means avoid anything in DC interesting or tasty. All the more for me.

Joe And Sam

Every time during the State Of The Union speech when they showed the podium, I thought I was watching The Muppet Show. Then I figured out why.



Joe Biden IS Sam Eagle. Which explains so much.

(h/t to seekered for the image.)

Undie Bomber Goes To Eleven

EXCLUSIVE: MUST CREDIT FOMA*

Here is confidential footage of failed terrorist Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab nearly getting caught at security with his secret tighty whitey ordnance.



Thank goodness that Umar wasn't one of Spinal Tap's drummers because the spontaneous combustion would have set off the bomb for sure.

Best Of The Palin Live Blogs

If you were a REAL blogger (unlike one that takes a week or two off at a time **cough**yours truly**cough**), you were live blogging today's interview between Oprah and Palin (which sounds like a failed Letterman bit but isn't). So in atonement, here are some highlights from those that took one for the team and watched the trainwreck in real time.

Andrew Sullivan:

4.18 pm. So far, most of Oprah's questions can be summarized as: "Isn't it weird how great you are?" In the last segment, Palin was actually forced to be more critical of her campaign than Oprah is. One wonders: is Oprah this desperate to boost her ratings? Is anyone on TV actually interested in finding out the truth?

4.21 pm. Oprah gives the game away: "This was in the book so I assume it was fair game." Oprah clearly agreed in advance only to ask questions from the book's own narrative.This is not journalism; it's celebrity puffery. Of course, it's Oprah.

Wonkette:

4:24 — Oprah: Obviously you’ve read newspapers and magazines, why didn’t you name any? Sarah: I love all of those things, yes, and I could have named every newspaper and magazine for the last 300 years, but I felt condescended to, so fuck her question right? I don’t like to play the victim card, but I was totally the victim here, and the entire concept of “news media” is flawed because I flubbed this question.

Gawker:

4:25 Oh, good, Oprah is actually playing a clip of the interview. Let's see how Sarah does when challenged with reality! Remember how she couldn't remember a magazine or newspaper? Oprah: "Obviously you've read books and magazines. Why didn't you just name any books and magazines?" SP: "Obviously, I have been a lover of books, all my life." Conspicuously she still has not named a book or magazine that she has read.

The Awl:

4:26 Chris Lehmann: Wasn't SP really just threatened by Couric because she KNEW that she would out-PERK her?

4:26 Chris Lehmann: Wow. The pot just called the kettle perky

The Washington Post's Lisa des Moraes:

4:28:The Baby

Oprah and Palin talk at length about Trig, Palin's youngest child, who has Down Syndrome. Weirdly, neither of them ever calls Trig by name.

And who are the livebloggers thinking of?

Gawker:

4:56 Now Palin is sucking up to Oprah, who she used to watch, back when she was a stay-at-home mom (Sullivan you should probably fact-check this).

The Awl:

4:14 I DON'T LIKE TO SHOP. Add to Andrew Sullivan's lie list!!!

Wonkette:

4:08 BARACK OBAMA’S CHILDREN GOT LEFT ALONE! WHY WEREN’T MINE. WHY WEREN’T MY MALIAS AND SASHA’S LEFT ALONE. Probably because he didn’t wear them as a cape every time he appeared in public? Or maybe because he said other things besides “MY KIDS MY KIDS MY KIDS” when explaining his qualifications for president? Meh, let’s just blame Andrew Sullivan.

And some final words:

Wonkette:

4:57 — One last question: are you going to have a talk show?
4:57 — Sarah: HAHAHAHAHA THAT IS THE FUNNIEST COMMENT I HAVE EVER HEARD OPRAH AHAHHAHA, but maybe. I love what you do for women, Oprah!

Lisa des Moraes:

It's official. They are in love.

Andrew Sullivan:

4.57 pm. Now it's a love-fest between two celebrities with talk-shows.

The only thing I can imagine worse than sitting through an interview with Sarah Palin would be to have to actually read her book. I doubt even she has bothered doing that.

Racist or Crazy?

I missed the Million Teabagger March in DC last week, but it has been all over the news. Part of the fun has been reading all the deranged signs various protesters brought with them. Ignited by Rep. Joe Wilson's outburst, some of the controversy has been over how much of the opposition to Obama has been motivated by racial animosity and how much is just genuine political difference.

Unlike Jimmy Carter, I'm willing to give most people the benefit of the doubt. My second favorite Avenue Q song is "We're All A Little Bit Racist". Nothing in American discourse is completely divorced from racial issues, but we can do our best to keep things in the background.

So I have come up with a new game. I'm going to show a bunch of photos from the 912 protest and you have to decide whether the sign holder is racist or just plain crazy. Again, I admit that these are taken wholly out of context and are probably not representative of most Americans or even the majority of Glenn Beck listeners.

1. Oprah The Puppet Master


2. African Lion:


4. Santa's Little Helper


4. Kenyan Birth Certificate


5. Trigger Happy


6. Spreading The Wealth


7. Unarmed and Dangerous


8. Strange Fruit and the Liberty Tree


9. Cap And Trade


10. Mr. President


11. Mein Fuhrer


12. Where's The Beef?


Hat tip to Malnurtured Snay who saw these guys on the Metro. Methinks they doth protest too much.

All photos are from this Flickr account and are copyrighted by the original photographer.

Thanks for playing our game at home and come again.

Personal Responsiblity

Barack Obama, September 8, 2009:

But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, the best schools in the world -- and none of it will make a difference, none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities, unless you show up to those schools, unless you pay attention to those teachers, unless you listen to your parents and grandparents and other adults and put in the hard work it takes to succeed. That's what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education.

I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself. Every single one of you has something that you're good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That's the opportunity an education can provide.

Mallard Fillmore, September 10, 2009:





Somebody has been sleeping in class again.

South Carolina Story

Just one more showtune musical parody for the Sanford drama unfolding. This time the South Carolina governor is a street hood with a girlfriend nobody approves of.

Maria . . .

The Argentine lady I just screwed:
Maria, Maria, Maria, Maria . . .
My entire career is now a joke so lewd and crude…
Maria, Maria, Maria, Maria . . .
Maria!

I just got back from seeing Maria
And there’s all this press
Asking about the mess
I’m in.

Maria!

I’m having an affair with Maria
Out chasing some tail
And hiking on a trail
Of sin!

Maria!

The divorcée that I’ve been banging
Left my political career hanging

Maria,

I’ll never stop seeing Maria

Worth throwing my job out the door.

Maria.

Don't Fly Me To Argentina

In order to beat the land rush on way-too-obvious song parodies about South Carolina governor Mark Sanford, here is my entry in the future Andrew Lloyd Weber musical about this farce:

It won't be easy, you'll think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
That I still need your vote after all that I’ve done
You won't re-elect me
All you will see is a governor who
Rejected bailout money
BUT to South America I flew

I had to go see her, I had to leave
Told my staff I was out hiking
Walking along the Appalachian Trail
But I flew southbound
Running around, trying to save my marriage
But my wife left me anyways

I kind of expected her to

Don’t fly me to Argentina
The truth is I have a mistress
All my right wing talk
My family values
We’re just a crock
To keep you clueless

And as for presidential ambition
I never got nominated
Though it seems that I was on McCain’s short list
I was already cheating
And I resigned from the Governors Association
Because I like riding my backhoe
And describing your tan line

Don’t fly me to Argentina
The truth is I still love her
All through my e-mails
My bad love poems
I broke my promise
Now I can’t go home

Have I shared too much?
There’s nothing more shameful I can do
But all you have to do is look at me
To know that my career is through

Don’t fly me to Argentina

(Thrust arms up in Richard Nixon peace sign)
(Curtain)

D Is For Dumb Like A Fox

What do these three politicians have in common?


(courtesy Media Matters)


(from bjkeefe's blog)


(from Brad's Blog)

a) Involved in a Scandal
b) Identified as a Democrat (D) by Fox News
c) Really a Republican
d) All of the Above

The answer is of course (d). It takes three examples to support a trend and the eagle-eyed editors and commenters at Wonkette have been keeping track of this peculiarly distinctive Fox faux pas.

So what causes America's premier right-leaning network to continually make this kind of mistake?

a) When there is a scandal, the way to bet is Democratic. Just take Elliot Spitzer, John Edwards and the king mack-daddy of tearful confessions Bill Clinton. So they get a few wrong.
b) Just another page from The Goebbels Guide To The Big Lie taken to a subliminal level.
c) Never ascribe to malice what can be explained by incompetence.
d) Any or all of the above.

We mock, you decide.

Sonia Sotomayor: Celebrity Justice

Here at Foma* Central we have a long proud tradition of supporting Supreme Court nominees going back to our classic Harriet Miers post. Sonia Maria Stotomayor, Barack Obama's first pick for the highest court is especially inspiring. She came from humble beginnings. As the daughter of single mom in the Bronx, she had to overcome hardship to succeed. And she has no lack of smarts. She graduated at the top of her class at that notorious New Jersey diploma mill, Princeton. She has also selflessly served with distinction on lower courts for years.

Sotomayor reminds of me other famous groundbreaking women that would be good role models for a Supreme Court justice. So let's have a look at the celebrities and charcters that also have inspirational backgrounds that could be a touchstone for our next SCOTUS member:

	Rosanne Barr The gum-smacking domestic goddess was a fresh face in television by upsetting the schlubby guy/hawt wife paradigm that dominates family sitcoms. She dared to prove that a housewife can be every bit as obnoxious and annoying as any man. What a way to break up a stodgy old boys club.
	Mindy Cohn Fun-loving Natalie from The Facts Of Life was the soul of the all-girls Eastland School For Very Special Episodes. She could always be counted on making the right decision while snacking on a candy bar. Her plucky charm always won over Mrs. Garrett and our hearts.
	Connie Chung Pioneering reporter Connie Chung is another example of a woman of other-than-pasty-white color breaking into a previously male-dominated field, in this case, network news anchor. She represents the inquisitive nature needed for person on the bench. Hard-hitting questions are a must and if any cases involving disputed paternity reach the high court, Connie's husband Maury Povich could add some technical assistance.
	Natalie Wood What better Newyorican could there be than Maria from West Side Story? Who's to say this singing star-crossed lover didn't go on to law school to help her Tony out of all his legal scrapes only to end up as a Supreme Court justice? Now that would be a great story. I'm humming "Life is all right in Amereeeca" at this very moment.

BlatantCommentWhoring™: What heroic woman does Sonia Sotomayor remind you of?