Sunday, March 05, 2006

Bitch Smacked

We all have guilty pleasures. Songs, books, movies, or shows that we know we shouldn’t enjoy but we do. The self-described bitches at ITalk2Much are just a such a guilty pleasure to me. Their site is a snarky combination of schadenfreude and car crash rubber-necking. Some of the blogs they review are truly awful. These people are blissfully unaware of the templated eyesores and banal banter they are inflicting on the internet.

These poor beknighted ignorant laughing-stocks include yours truly. Not completely unaware of the trap I was walking into, I requested a review from these potty-mouthed princesses way back in December and boy did I get one. The gave me one smack out of pity just because my blog didn’t feature a teddy bear in bondage gear. Personally I think it's because I don't fuckin' swear enough.

Perhaps some of what they said could be construed as constructive criticism.

He loses points for blatant comment whoring at the end of every other post…and technorati tags on the end of every post.

Fair enough. I gave up tagging everything in sight because they just weren’t bringing in any traffic. And say what you want about comment-whoring, it works. A lot of people like having a taking-off point for discussion.

Lately a lot of the blogs I read have been getting smacked as well. Lets see what sort of company I keep.

What The…. – No smacks
Mooselet Musings – One Smack
Trusty getto – Two Smacks, but he ass-kissed his way up to Four Smacks
Enough Already – Two Smacks, upgraded to Three Smacks after turning off her music.
Midvale School – Negative Smack for some silly-ass reason

Obviously, except for trusty, I have terrible taste in blogs. And mean girl gets extra smacks just because everyone wants to smack her.

Benn Ray of Atomic Books was once in a band that seems to sum up the Bitch Philosophy. (Warning: While this song includes no foul language, I would not recommend playing it with earshot of your boss):

Oh, and bitches, I’m willing to jeopardize my one meager smack with this:

Blatant comment whoring: Have you been smacked and did you enjoy it?


Jeff and Charli Lee said...

I got 2 smacks back in Jan.

They spent most of the review on the fact they didn't like the picture of the album cover of my old band that was in the most recent post. Then they told me I was boring and not funny.

That was true for that post. It wasn't a humor piece - and I could tell by my tracker that they had only been on my site for about 5 minutes.

So, I can't justify their "service" as being legit and therefore don't give a crap about anything they might have to say.

yellojkt said...

"Boring" seems to be their most common complaint.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

I have never sub,itted my blog for review and I;ve only been to that site twice, I think...Once cause someone that I read all the time was reviewed and she had a link and then just recently and I don't remember how I got there....I personally am not particulatly interested in being reviewed...what little I've read they don't seem to like abything, you know?

I'm here from Michele's Alphabet Comment game!

Mooselet said...

I got whinged at because I had a 'political' blog. Uh, no I don't but the day they visited I had been on a bit of a rant due to an issue I feel quite strongly about. I don't like to limit myself to one topic for my blog as my life isn't limited to one thing. Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I don't.

Oh, my colour scheme got knocked about, too. Took exception to me embracing Australia. Meh - to each her own.

I've found a few cool blogs through them, but I take what they say with a huge block of salt and make up my own mind.

Anonymous said...

I haven't been smacked yet, but I have submitted my site. That was only about a week ago, though. I don't know what the turnover time is.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I forgot to mention that there's one guy at the site (Screen Name "Charred") who seems to actually offer some constructive criticism. Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky.

paula said...

As you noted, I did get smacked. Did I enjoy it? Meh. *shrugs* Other than turning off the music I haven't changed a thing.

I will tell you, it has been entertaining watching everyone else get in a fuss about their review.


Let it go.

yellojkt said...

Not bitter, bemused. I really expected a lot of abuse about things they didn't even mention. Boring Blogger template. Stupid stuff in the sidebar. Not enough cussing.

Your Mother said...

I didn't get smacked and I'm pissed. Okay, not really. Although, I was mildly irritated at being called “boring”. As far as I'm concerned, I'm the shit. NowhatImean?

ha ha ha. I kill me.

I can't help but read over there. Those people crack me up. The commentary is more vicious than the reviewers sometimes. All the things I long to say but never will...

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure that their site should get more than 1 or 2 smacks at most. The commentary is all the same, and reads like a clique of bitchy 16 year old girls ragging on what others wore to the prom... Frankly, I don't think their site shows the web skills necessary for me to take their opinion of other sites too seriously...

trusty getto said...

Ass-kissed? Oh, I was just being polite, that's all ;)

I thoroughly enjoyed my smacking. I'd agree that my blog isn't for everyone, but, hey, that's okay. Feel free to not read it !

dena said...

I've gone to read a few times, and I know a few people who have submitted. It's interesting, if anyone disagrees with how they rate someone then they are all over you. I've disliked some of the blogs they've loved, and loved some of the blogs they hated. Of coure if you submit then you get what they give. I'm not sure what qualifies them as experts, but I've seen it mentioned that one of the reviewers is part of Web Divas. They do tend to give the blogs that use that web design service a little higher.

As for submitting my blog, I'd get nothing but criticism - constructive or otherwise. I blog for me, and so the opinion of a self-procalimed expert is of little value to me. My blog is as random as my moods.

Oh, and I happen to like reading posts that ask for a respone or give a start-off point.

Mooselet said...

I don't think I'm bitter, not even disappointed. Just - meh. The only thing I changed about my blog is trying to stay away from politics, otherwise it's all the same.

It was good for a giggle, and it got me some increased traffic. It's all good.

Impetua said...

Feh. My blog is dead boring and I don't care. Wonder what the smack rate is for domestic dullness spiked with the occasional cute baby pic?

And, they do seem bitchy and look-how-much-cooler-we-are-than-everyone-else, which gets pretty old after a while.

yellojkt said...

The high-school clique analogy is very apt. They all have other blogs under other names and if you read the very early posts, it is pretty apparent when the log-rolling kicks in.

The site is amusing, but I wouldn't go there for serious advice. And the bitchy schtick gets old pretty quick.

HRH Courtney, Queen of Everything said...

I'm adopting the attitude of "it won't bother me if I don't let it bother me", which is why I've incorporated their favorite comment from my review into my template.

And when I look at my life achievements as held up to my high school clique's achievements, all I can think is, right. And your glory days were when...?

yellojkt said...

Good for you Courtney. I love it.

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