Thursday, March 30, 2006

NCCC Pointless Soap Division Championship

For the Pointless Soap Division Championship of the NCCC™, Mary Worth and Rex Morgan, the first round winners, face off to determine who will advance to the Final Four. This is a division that has struggled lately. Anytime your newspaper has a comics survey, assume that all the serials are on the chopping block and the editors are just checking the pulse of the remaining readers. These strips are an endangered species because, just like dinosaurs, they are slow and lumbering and cannot adapt to a changing environment. Has anyone seen Brenda Starr or Terry and the Pirates around lately? Would anyone miss them?

Rex Morgan is an idealistic young doctor raising a family. He has a wife and child to support and works in a profession that regularly puts him in contact with people a lot worse off than himself. Never mind that he is a hopelessly closeted do-gooder that needs to drop the charade for his long suffering and amazingly hot wife June and their terribly mis-shapen child.

Mary Worth, on the other hand, is a meddling beyotch with nothing better to than interfere in other people’s lives. My retired parents in Florida have a phrase for people like Mary, “Condo Commandos”. Busy-bodies with too much time on their hands that manufacture crises if none exist. Nothing is more ironic than a bunch of incontinent ninety-year olds writing the bylaws to keep toddlers out of the pool. Mary needs to draw her blinds and let others live their lives.
Winner/Loser: Mary Worth

Next up: Just Not Funny Division Championship

Or on to the Final Four.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm kind of enjoying Brenda Starr again. And, for what it's worth, the script actually manages to move forward with each strip. You miss a day and you definitely have to play catchup.

Mary Worth...boy, I don't know. I don't think we can even accuse her of meddling anymore. She's like an innocent bystander in her own life, watching it go by and spouting platitudes.