Thursday, March 19, 2009

NKKKK: Kinkiest Kouple

We kick off my version of March Madness, the National Kinkiest Komics Karacter Kontest, with the equivalent of a first round 1-seed/16-seed match-up. But while there is a clear favorite, don't discount the scrappy upstarts who are just happy to get a chance in the spotlight.

Arlo and Janis
Arlo and Janis
This category really should be called the Arlo Award but CIDU Bill beat me to that gimmick. No strip more consistently sneaks the double (or single) entendres past the censors. These frisky minxes have a healthy active sex life, but does it rise to the level of kinky? Who hasn't occasionally lost the handcuff keys? Anyone?

Ted and Sally Forth
Sally Forth
Much like how Will and Grace is now seen as no big deal, some day this strip will be marked as a milestone in the acceptance of transgendered couples. The brilliantly subversive idea to pair both a MtF and a FtM transsexual as loving, devoted parents has gone a long way to promote tolerance and understanding.

Wanda and Darryl MacPherson
Baby Blues
Wanda and Darryl are so frisky that they can't even to make it to the bedroom and instead make-out on the couch to the disbelief of their lightly sleeping spawn. That is matrimonial lust at its most neurosis forming. Let's hope those kids have good therapists. As proof of their fecundity, unlike many comic characters, the MacPhersons have had two kids since the comic started. That's tough to do with all those readers always watching.

Hi and Lois Flagston
Hi And Lois
Often mocked as the archetype of bland boring suburban based strips, this comic is best read as subtext. Beneath this vignette of stale ennui is a seething 9-1/2 Weeks style food fetish scene about to play out. Behind the white picket facade, the Flagstons are flying their freak flag with key swaps, erotic toy parties, and basement bondage dungeons.

Pete and Peggy
Daddy's Home
While not as famous as the other entrants, this strip about a stay-at-home dad and his corporate wife has a level of smirking not found elsewhere. In case you are unfamiliar with the strip, I offer a couple of sample full strips. If those two aren't getting the most action on the funny pages, I don't know who is.

We had some great write-in candidates. I purposely left out the soap couples to keep the playing field level. The Mitchells just missed the bubble, but they could have been contenders if there were any real evidence they have been using the Wilson's as babysitters while they run their couples sex surrogate therapy sessions. Juliet Burber and Elliot didn't make the cut because Elliot just isn't an equal partner, but don't worry, we'll see plenty of the Burber ladies later in the tournament.

Out of tradition (and laziness) I've kept the same polling software as in other years, which lags terribly. Your vote is being counted, just not very quickly. So go ahead and vote and lets hope for a Cinderella upset.


Anonymous said...

Face it, it had to be A&J. Most of the others in this category don’t even come close. Let’s take a closer look.

Pete and Peggy: I really don’t know anything about this strip, so I just can’t say. Maybe they offer some competition, but they’re a definite dark horse.

Hi & Lois: I’m not buying it. These two are totally stuck in the early 60s and you can’t prove to me they’ve done it more than 3 times. Hi’s soul has been utterly crushed by his dead-end, middle management job (as proven by the fact that he watches golf on TV) and Lois is probably popping all sorts of pills while Hi self-medicates with alcohol. But we never see the slightest bit of contact, let alone affection between them.

Wanda & Darryl: Certainly, they have as active a sex life as possible with 3 kids under 8 in the house. (And I totally misunderstood your comment about them having 2 kids since the strip started as meaning 2 kids in existence rather than 2 born.) But we regularly get jokes about them being too pooped to pop or “hey, the kids in bed early, you want the laundry or the dishes?” Sometimes we see them falling asleep when they have a chance for a little hanky-panky. If Wren ever gets out of diapers, then maybe. On the other hand, Darryl may have a lactation fetish…

Ted & Sally: The only real competition here. Someone at the Comics Curmudgeon once described Ted as a total power bottom. Could be. Sally certainly gives off a dominatrix vibe. And Ted probably insists on some cos play based on various bits of 70s and 80s pop culture (but I bet it’s really off-beat stuff like MacMillan and Wife or Ark II).

But I still have to give it Arlo & Janis (for all that I really hate her). And for one simple reason. Ted and Sally may be just as kinky or even more, but I bet Ted still blushes and stammers like a schoolgirl when the subject comes up and half of the thrill he gets out of it is probably that it makes him feel dirty. A&J are more relaxed about it and just do it because it’s fun.

yellojkt said...

Exactly, d-x. That's why this is the Days' contest to lose. I looked hard for a Hi and Lois strip that was less soul-crushing and came up empty handed.

And the mental image of Sally Forth dressed up as Susan Saint James is a little disturbing.

Anonymous said...

Who says Sally is the one dressing us as Susan St. James?

Anonymous said...

Arlo and Janis, while spicy, are too normal. Since I hold to the theory that Sally is a 24/7 transvestite and Jackie is the real mother of Ted's child, it has to be Ted and Sally.

If you had included the soaps I'd vote for Margo and Tommie.

Keep up the good work, yello!

Anonymous said...

another vote for A&J.

Ed & Jeanne said...

Where's Blondie and Dagwood? I mean come on, what are they doing that he can keep eating those huge sandwiches without gaining weight?

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I truly can't decide. All but the last one appear in my local and city papers and I love them... :(

Ramona said...

I'd have personally thought that Momma and Francis would have been on this list.

Cedar said...

That Pete and Peggy comic looks terrible. Maybe it might be considering kinky except for the way both the characters have that heavy-lidded, bored and contemptuous scowl on their faces. They're like the Lockhorns, only more attractive.

Derdrom said...

You just know Herb & Jamaal are up to some nonspecific nookie. However, it's hard to top Mr. Death's write-in for Momma and Francis, as People's Exhibit A demonstrates.

Anonymous said...

Oh, man: What about the parents from "Zits"?

yellojkt said...

Mr. Death,
That's just sick. I love it.

Dale K,
Herb and Jamal got their asses kicked in last year's Best Ambiguously Gay Duo contest.

Anonymous said...

Another one here to write-in for whatever the hell the parents in Zits are called.

Paperdoll said...

Another write-in for Margo & Tommie.

Heather said...

Write-in vote for Kevin and Kell.

Some examples:

I mean, he's a RABBIT for pete's sake...

Luann Fan said...

Oh, come ON! How could you have overlooked Frank and Nancy DeGroot, LUANN's parental units? We know they were free-lovin' hippies in their teens & twenties, they've gone to "couples camp" and are eager to go back, she gets checked out for HPV regularly, and most recently she's been playing Mrs. Robinson to her son's sociopathic roommate, TJ. (And her husband seemingly encourages this.)

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